https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRPChBZ0Rjo&ab_channel=TomBilyeu

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Alex hermosi welcome to the show
thank you for having me dude I cannot be
more excited so I want to Dive Right In
if somebody is starting from scratch
what are the traits skill sets that they
should be cultivating in order to up the
odds of their success
they should focus on one thing in
general rather than lots of different
things that you're not sure about
because if you're starting out
everything looks like an opportunity so
the correct answer is all of them are
opportunities but all of them won't work
unless you pick one right so you have to
say no to all the other Mistresses so
boom you pick one and then from there I
always say six figures is sell something
to someone that's it and if you want
more detail sell something to someone so
it's one Avatar one product one channel
so you don't have to figure out how do I
create 20 pieces of content across it's
like
just pick one channel one media Source
whether it's Facebook Instagram YouTube
you know whatever Twitter consistently
start going on that whether that's cold
outbound whether that's content whether
it's running paid ads whether it's

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Affiliates Word of Mouth whatever it is
um start reaching out to people there to
start selling your stuff and so if you
can just do that consistently and I use
something all right what's the skill set
that's going to make somebody good and
this is six figures still yeah so what's
the skill set in that is it getting good
at the outbound is it good and good at
saying no to the other stuff like how do
we translate that into a skill set you
have to learn how to advertise which I
Define is the process of making known so
how do you let other people know about
the stuff you sell so you have to
advertise there's six ways to do it I
covered five just now so there's there's
six ways you can do it and then once
people engage with whatever
advertisement you have you have to sell
them so advertising is the first skill
selling them is the second skill and
then product would be the third skill
which is the thing that you're
ultimately advertising and selling okay
so that gets us six figures what gets a
seven doing the same thing consistently
so usually once people do it in the
beginning they're sporadic they're not
consistent with it just the act of doing
the same thing every day usually gets
people to
100 000 a month which sounds crazy it's

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probably people listening but most
people who think that's crazy also
haven't done it consistently for an
extended period of time and so I use
something that I call the rule 100 which
is 100 primary actions whether that's
100 minutes of of content creation per
day 100 reach outs per day uh 100 of AD
spend per day uh like you have to pick
one of them but 100 per day and you do
that for 100 days and I promise you'll
have you'll be making six figures if you
do that
most people won't yeah I know you know
that they will fail at something what is
the most common thing that you see
people fail so you give them the
blueprint your ability to articulate a
blueprint to success is insane
legitimately insane dude when I so I'm
gonna make a prediction right now five
years from now in this space you will be
one of the biggest people on social
media 100 guaranteed YouTube podcast
whatever because your advice is real and
I said I I was about to tell you
something and I said I'm going to say it
on camera and I will tell you right now
I judge everybody that comes on the show

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by when I'm doing the research to bring
you on which is a way bigger time
investment than the interview itself did
I actually learn something did I move
forward did I enjoy myself dude it was
awesome researching you was awesome it
was good for the business it was good
for the soul good for the mindset
everything so this is going to be
incredible
but where do people fall down because
most people even knowing how articulate
you are and know that people are still
going to fail is crazy and I know that
most people are going to fail so where
where do people really struggle in that
equation
I think it's fear mostly
um I know that's not a skill but I think
it's a character trait and so people are
afraid of Val you know not getting
validated or they're afraid of judgment
that they perceive from other people
that exist or don't exist in their lives
um and so for whatever reason they have
this second voice that criticizes
everything they do that in reality isn't
even there but it's constantly present
it's like the antithesis of whatever the

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god figure is but just the negative
voice and so I think that's the thing
that stops most people from doing the
stuff they know they need to do because
if you think about like whether it's
want to get in shape or I want to have a
better marriage or I want to make more
money most people on some level at a
basic level they know what to do and my
proof point of like even making money
right most of us have had a bill that
came up that was unexpected a tax bill a
car breaks down a health thing whatever
it is and we find a way and so when it's
for someone else
people are will use the actual
resourcefulness that they have to make
the money but for whatever reason they
won't use that same resourcefulness to
make it for themselves and so I think
that most people know if they want to
work out uh start to get in shape or to
lose weight whatever they know they need
to eat fewer donuts and move more in
general but they don't right because
they're afraid of getting started or
they don't have the discipline to keep
going which is they can't make the
short-term sacrifice for the long-term
achievement so big picture it's like
there's usually some fear that's
preventing from doing it and then how it
looks from a behavioral standpoint is
they do not make the short-term

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sacrifice of discomfort for the
long-term achievement independent of
whatever path they're talking about
you guys are going to want to say to the
end I'm going to give you my favorite
Alex quote but now I'm going to give you
one that I actually think pertains to
this so you said how to stay poor assume
you're always right yeah and when I
think about people failing it's because
in fact there's another quote this one I
didn't write down but I'm going to get
close
marketing is just a fancy nine-letter
word for test
and
once people understand you're going to
fail and you're going to fail a lot if
you can't deal with that failure yeah if
you think that failing makes you a
failure if you think that it's a
permanent state of being and you're
never going to get better then you won't
do the things you need to do to
ultimately be successful you talk about
consistency
but it isn't just consistency because if
you do it wrong yeah consistently you're
still going to fail right so this is you
have to be in my own language willing to
stare nakedly at your inadequacies yeah
and if you can stare nakedly at your
inadequacies then you can actually get

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better if you're running the tests and
you're like hey looking at the data did
this work or did this not work 100 then
you can actually improve
but you went through this so in the
beginning of your career and this is one
of the things I find most interesting
about your story is you failed you
actually pulled your now wife aside and
said I'm a sinking ship yeah uh and if
you wanted to leave I would completely
understand yeah uh how did you go from
that to like there was something you
figured out yeah what what is that thing
you figured out
laughs
I think at that point
um
the the reality of my situation was so
Bleak that I I didn't conf I honestly
didn't even process the reality of my
situation because the more I thought
about it like the sadder more hopeless I
would feel and so I focused on the few
things that were under my control which
is like I can do these things and so
when I talk about advertising I want to
talk about selling I talk about those

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things boiled down to the actual actions
because I had to think of it in that way
because it was the only way that it
wasn't overwhelming it's like I just
have to make a hundred reach outs or I
just have to spend 100 a day and I have
to look at the ads and I have to turn
off the ones that are bad and do more of
the stuff that starts to work
um and and that that was the process of
getting me from kind of like
dark to a better a better outcome but I
mean from that actual point we did the
only thing we knew how to do which was
at market and sell and that was that was
how we got out of that and honestly that
that single skill of being able to
generate leads
um independent of the industry has been
like my get out of jail free card
um which has allowed me to fail over and
over and over again until finally you
know I got it right and even after that
one when we were at the Rock Bottom
there I had just you know nine 90 days
earlier got in a DUI my mom was in the
hospital
um really bad shape uh that's when I had
just lost all the money which is when I
pulled her aside but then fast forward

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six months basically repeated the cycle
again which is I had we had started
doing these launches where he'd fly out
and and turn gyms around like Bar Rescue
but for gyms
and when we were out there uh
all of a sudden we came back home and we
saw like two of the gyms refunded all of
the transactions they just told the
people they could just sign up through
them and just do it for half the rate
after we had already spent the money for
the hotels and the flights and all the
ad spent and every you know a whole
month of work
and so basically all the money that we
had saved up in that like I think we're
out of jail free lost it all again
um and only then did we accidentally
um pivot into the licensing model which
ended up becoming the thing that was
like the first very big success that we
had but like that whole period of time
was five years of basically not having
anything even though on you know on
paper when I had the gyms I materially
looked successful because we had six
locations but I always just put all my
money back into each you know each new
location so I had very little actual
cash I was asset rich and cash four I

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know that's real yeah all right and so
but then when I lost everything after
that because I sold them took the money
put in the new Venture and then lost it
I was like wait I just lost five years
because I had nothing to show for it and
so that's probably what what has created
a lot of the hypothesis I have now
around I didn't lose the five years I
lost the assets which were not the most
valuable thing that I had earned over
that time it was the skills the
experiences the character traits because
I still had those and then using those
three things I was able to do the next
thing fortunately
um yeah I'm obsessed with learning yes
and it's interesting because I've had
the level of success that I've had and
because I'm technically middle-aged it's
just crazy to say I used to be the kid I
swear to God uh
it is it's really there's a
gravitational Center in my brain that
wants me to think that I have crossed
some line yeah and that it's about
looking backwards and it's really

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dangerous like you have to be looking
for I mean God willing I've got you know
another 40 plus years of life left
and
every time that I get in that trap it's
I just re-anchor around wow I'm still
learning like all this stuff I'm 46 but
I've learned so much I failed so many
times and I've acquired so much
knowledge and skill set and all of that
and then you can think about oh cool
like as long as I've got the energy to
keep pushing to keep building because I
have
to your earliest point about what makes
you successful it's the that is
literally My Kryptonite is I have a very
hard time accepting the fact that I can
do anything I want with my life but not
everything yeah and that I find deeply
distressing but like on a level that
borders on mental illness yeah and
by focusing cutting out the other stuff
and recognizing okay I've reinvented
myself again yeah

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but
a lot of that knowledge is going to
transfer it's going to be useful as I
push forward but getting obsessed with
learning yeah like that would be the
gift if I could give to people and say
okay you you want to be successful I get
it everybody wants it right now but if
you can stack these skills like then if
you've got the skill set and the
methodology that you know you and others
can really lay out incredibly well it's
like now you can do something but if you
have the methodology but not the skills
or you don't have the mindset and so
you're broken by the failure or you
don't have the methodology if you're
missing any one of those then you end up
in a death spiral yeah
it's interesting what you're saying with
the learning thing because
um I think a lot of people said like the
early because I I also have like I feel
like two parts of the audience is that
like follow my stuff I've got the
business owners who are trying to scale
their business Etc and then I've got all
the people who want to start a business
and usually they're a little bit younger
and whatnot and I think there's a

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misnomer around like education and so a
lot of them I don't know how explicit I
can be but like they mentally masturbate
so watching lots and lots of videos they
you know want the pump up features they
buy the tickets to the things and so
they just learn and I think that they
think that exposure to information is
learning and I don't think that's true
or at least it hasn't been for me so
definitely not sure so you know because
I'm sure you get asked all the time like
what are the books that you know
transform your life and I've had a
handful of books that have been useful
to me but I would say 99 of the things
that I have learned I've learned they're
doing and so when I do the original rule
of 100 and whatnot it's because I think
it's the most effective way to learn
which is you force yourself on the one
controllable that you have which is the
activities that you can take and then it
goes with the underlying assumption that
you go off feedback and you're like well
that opening message did not work yeah
right and then I think most people have
a dramatic underestimation of how much
volume it takes to be successful
independent of the thing right they're
like okay I should go on five dates and

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then find the girl I'm gonna marry it's
like what if it was 500. to find the
right girl you're going to marry or I
want to you know start this this new
channel or I want to honest become an
influencer whatever it is and they start
doing you know one post a day for four
weeks and they're like why am I not
famous yet and they find I mean real
right true and they find out that like
you know we ended up doing 400 episodes
before we made it to the top 10 on the
podcast thing and now we start doing you
know 100 plus pieces of content a week
and it's just this volume game that you
get the the skill from the volume the
feedback from the volume and there's all
these like little things I'm sure it's
like from the exercise world because you
come from that
um like when you squat the first time
you squat you're you're orienting
yourself to your environment you're
barely actually squatting you're just
looking like you have a bar on your back
but you learn so much between that first
rep and your ten thousandth rep of
squats and so I think for most people
it's like if we can if I my goal like
you with the learning is like if I can
just decrease the action threshold for

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people to begin and be okay with the
fact that they're going to to suck and
it is okay to suck it is you should
expect to suck and it would be
unreasonable for you to be good if you
haven't done it before and so it's like
are you asking the universe to be
unreasonable for you
by
expecting to be good on your first try
and I think that's where a lot of people
it's the expectation that destroys their
ability to be successful because they
expect to win on the first shot and no
one does do you worry at all about
people wanting to be on camera right
from the jump because that puts an
expectation to be good that oh yeah
that's rough
um
I think it's so much like
if we're so
many so many feelings about this
um so you've got you've got this whole
Space right and you look at like if
you're like I want to be a business
influencer right well it's like we look
at the guys who actually at the top of
the business game and virtually everyone
you Andy Ed Gary all those guys have
killed in business and most of them even
Gary had gone to 60 million a year

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before he made his first content and so
I think the issue is that people look at
that and say I should make content like
them when you don't have you can't
answer the underlying question which is
why should I listen to you which is
always in the back of every audience is
mine in my opinion at least that's what
I think like when someone's like a
relationship expert and I find out
they've been divorced three times I'm
like yeah you know maybe not right I
mean and as terrible as it is they might
be giving amazing advice but it doesn't
pass the first filter which is if I'm
going to take military strategy from
someone I'd rather have a general that
has a winning record even if the other
guy Napoleon said I'd rather have lucky
generals
so even if you had two that were even
you'd rather have the lucky one and so
to the same degree I think people use
that filter because it actually takes
less effort to learn from someone that
you trust and so it's like if you've got
the the basement teacher that's telling
you the dollar cost average of the s p
and you've got Warren Buffett who's
telling people to dollar cost average in
the s p they don't want to listen to the
teacher even if the teacher is better
objectively from a constant standpoint
because they just don't know if they
should trust them so you have to have
two filters I'm hearing the thing sure I
trust the thing with Warren you can just
plug into whatever he's saying just take
it as truth which takes less effort and

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so I think most people don't get that
point and so I think you should make
content but the if you're or you should
advertise the stuff that you sell let
people know about what you're doing
um but it should be about the true
expertise that you have which is
oftentimes just talking about the stuff
you're doing rather than saying you
should be doing this this is what I am
doing hope you find it interesting hope
you find it valuable and I think that's
a big Dynamic which at first is like how
to it's how I
um just that little shift and I think a
lot of people would get much bigger
better audiences and actually make more
money from the content that they're
making because everyone else is like why
should I listen to you yeah
yeah with content like I'm I'm open
anybody that wants to make it make it
people will watch it if it's adding
value hopefully they don't do what you
were describing earlier which I'll call
spiritual entertainment where they're
just learning learning learning watching
watching watching getting motivated
getting inspired they're not doing
anything with it but my big concern with
people creating content is that they
will trap themselves because they're
afraid to suck like when I got a new
camera I was like wow I'm really rolling

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the dice now because my life has taught
me one immutable truth I'm going to fail
a lot and there's nothing that tells me
that that period in my life is over like
and and it was never interesting to me
to like ride into the sunset on oh I
sold Quest so I sold Quest and then like
[ __ ] Babe Ruth I said I'm gonna build
the next Disney right yeah but I went on
camera and said look honestly the odds
are stacked against me the odds that I
fail are way higher than I that I
succeed right and so
going into that I did not want to back
myself into a corner where I was afraid
to try things I was afraid to step into
an area where I wasn't good because it's
the only way that I know to get better
right which I call the physics of
progress I call it the physics for a
reason so I think it is truly the only
way to improve yeah is basically the
scientific method you come up with an
informed hypothesis come up with a test
that lets you actually try that out you
test it you get results you stare
nakedly at those results which will
sting a little because it almost
certainly did not work as well as you

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hoped yeah you will then get a little
bit wiser you will reformulate a
hypothesis you will retest and you just
that's the loop right and you just go go
and you see what works and you see what
doesn't but people are so interested in
looking cool yeah that the content
becomes the Trap that stops them from
actually getting good it's the posturing
it's the external validation that they
need to feel like the success they're
not having in reality can be made up for
with likes and comments and perceive
success
talk to me about the so you said that
you wanted to Vanquish your dad yeah so
this to me is tied to that idea of like
you you need something that propels you
you need something that pushes you to go
through all of this
but also trying letting your dad control
your actions is probably not the best
move yeah so like how is it useful and
then is there getting to the other side
of that yeah
so um and you know to be clear dad uh

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the I would say that the vanquishing
thing is something that I was able to
kind of recognize in retrospect which
was it was all about beating my dad
earlier on so and a lot of that was
because I felt like a lot of the respect
was withheld from me earlier on and it
was always like a moving Target which is
you know if you need to be this you need
to be that you have to be in shape you
have to date hot girls you have to be
top your class you have to play all the
Varsity Sports like all those things
right be Editor to the newspaper be
editor-in-chief of the of the literary
magazine all those things at the same
time and still if I got something wrong
on a test it was like would you get
wrong you know rather than this is cool
I'm not 99 right yeah I'm not boohooing
about it is what it is it's made me who
I am and I'm grateful for it
um but that was kind of the the earlier
part was I wanted to win the game that
had been set out for me and you know
first it was make a hundred thousand a
year and then it was make uh the same
amount of amount as my dad and then it
was make more than my dad and then it
was make more than my dad had ever made
his entire life and then once that
happened I looked around and I was like

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I think I've been playing his game and
not my game and so I wasn't really
setting any rules I was just playing
with the rules that were given to me and
so and kind of thing like is this even
the game I want to play
and so that you know that took me you
know a little bit of time to process
um and I think that It ultimately to
your question I think it did serve me a
lot and I don't know how much of these
reinforced behaviors that I learned
during that period of time still benefit
me today but they're not fueled by the
same thing so I still have these habits
of how I work and and you know being
dedicated towards goals Etc that I think
were born of that but no longer are
fueled from that now you lay out three
traits of ultra successful people yeah I
don't know if they're yours or if you
know them somewhere they're not mine so
so brilliant and when you said it you
put words to something that I have felt
for a very long time yeah
um if you don't remember them I have
them here but if you remember I remember
them yes uh and so it's
there's three traits that people then
they looked at because they were trying
to find Habits of Highly Successful

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People and when they actually pulled
apart it's not you know and I hope I'm
not contradicting anything
um but there's people who are really
rich who wake up really late and work
really late and there's people really
rich who wake up really really early and
there's people who really rich you eat
really healthy and there's people really
rich who drink Coca-Cola and eat french
fries every day and so there's all these
things that we want to make as truths
but there there's easy examples that
counter those things so it's like what
are the few things that are true or at
least that seem to be present in all of
the situations and it seems as though
they were surprisingly fit and so the
three common traits that they had that
they had found were one that people have
superiority complex they believe they're
better than others and they believe that
they deserve more than everyone else
does and that they can accomplish big
goals right so they have a bigger Vision
because they believe they deserve it or
whatever it is that they were able to
identify that the second thing that they
would identify is that they had
crippling insecurity and which which is
a paradox of paradoxes they feel they'll
never be enough
um and they'll always be measured
against the things that they've achieved
and so you've got this crazy dynamic
between they they think they're better
than everyone they think they deserve

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more they want to go after this big hill
and at the same time they fear they'll
never be good enough and they'll never
actually achieve it and they actually
suck and then the third piece which kind
of adds the beautiful like mix of this
is impulse control and so they're able
to control their actions and focus on a
single thing for an extended period of
time and so if you put those three
things together it's like you've got a
big goal that's pulling you this way
you've got this big fear that you are
running away from and then you've got
impulse control to keep you focused on
the one thing that matters yes and if
you do that if you if you are the type
of person who has the those traits then
you are very likely to be successful
what is up my friend Tom bilyeu here and
I have a big question to ask you how
would you rate your level of personal
discipline on a scale of one to ten if
your answer is anything less than a ten
I've got something cool for you and let
me tell you right now discipline by its
very nature means compelling yourself to
do difficult things that are stressful
boring which is what kills most people
or possibly scary or even painful now
here is the thing achieving huge goals
and stretching to reach your potential
requires you to do those challenging

24
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stressful things and to stick with them
even when it gets boring and it will get
boring building your levels of personal
discipline is not easy but let me tell
you it pays off in fact I will tell you
you're never going to achieve anything
meaningful unless you develop discipline
right I've just released a class from
Impact Theory university called how to
build Ironclad discipline that teaches
you the process of building yourself up
in this area so that you can push
yourself to do the hard things that
greatness is going to require of you
right click the link on the screen
register for this class right now and
let's get to work I will see you inside
this Workshop from Impact Theory
University until then my friends be
legendary peace out
you gave me the chills twice while you
were explaining that so this is
I'm often asked like hey you know what
does it take to be successful or how did
I get successful and I'm like from the
time I was a little kid so I grew up
lower middle class and but from the time
I was a kid I told everybody I am going
to be rich like you don't understand I'm
going to be rich I was so angered by not

25
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being able to get the things that I
wanted as a kid and I had a little
problem with authority and so I felt
like I was being told that I had this
box to stay and I was like no no I had
always had these crazy dreams and I just
believed I could make it come true yeah
but I'm terrifyingly insecure that I'm
not smart enough to pull it off yeah and
I have something I need to prove to
myself to my wife my father-in-law my
own parents like I just [ __ ] no matter
how much I achieve I still have this
right so I I have this crushing need to
validate myself and to feel like no you
really did have a kid yes and but I am
psychotic at my ability to delay a
gratification yeah like I can suffer and
toil and grind and just like I don't
need to eat the marshmallow for a
hundred years right which is stupid in
some ways but you put those three things
together and you just go and go and go

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it's really again sorry yeah so to the
marshmallow point because I think this
is really interesting and I don't think
it's talked about enough which is they
they like to separate the kids into the
two buckets right like uh the kitty
waits for two marshmallows and the kid
who just says I want the marshmallow now
but I feel like they should have a third
bucket which says how long do they ask
the kid to wait for the marshmallow
right because it's not do you have like
because I like to think of things and
like a lot of times we have false
dichotomies or we have binaries where
like good or bad you know disciplined or
undisciplined I'm honest or dishonest
right when I think moral reality is to
what degree am I honest to what extent
am I disciplined to what degree am I you
know loyal right oh God there's a whole
conversation yeah yeah and so I think
that each of those three that we just
went over it's it's not do I have them
or not for the people who are listening
because people like to think yes I have
it or like oh well I have all three of
those it's not having them and I'm sure
you've interviewed some of the most
successful people on the planet it's how
much do you have yeah right and so I
think that like your ability to delay

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gratification it's not just like oh I
can wait a week or I can wait a month
but it I made this tweet that went
pretty viral it was like if you can wait
a year
you can make a ton of money like if you
can do something for 12 months you
cannot need for financial goodness
pretty much for the rest of your life
I'm not saying you're gonna be hella
Rich right but you're not going to need
for anything if you can wait 12 months
if you can wait a decade you're going to
be above the one percent if you can wait
10 years for an outcome be able to do
the doing without seeing the result
for 10 years
you will be able to be above any most
achievement of most people
and if you can wait a lifetime and you
don't even need to see the result of
your doing this even while you are alive
but know that it may get done after you
pass then I I believe that you can
change the world and I mean that
and so I think that if people can just
extend the time Horizon
that they're measuring themselves on
they can just do so much more I mean

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you've probably heard the Bill Gates
quote where he says people overestimate
what they can do in a year and
underestimate what they can do in a
decade I think it's the same thing just
continue to draw it out and I think as
I've as we've been able to you know
achieve more leverage and make more
money Etc my Horizon has extended and
when I listen to the people who are the
people who I want to emulate I can
almost tell by the measurement of money
that they talk about and the measurement
of time that they discussed how
successful they are or how successful I
think they're going to be like if I talk
to a 25 year old and he's talking about
what he wants to do in two decades and
his whole plan of what he's going to do
as long as he's not just blowing smoke
because he's heard an interview from me
um then I'm like this kid's got it he
gets it he gets it and most people just
don't think they can't wait 90 days that
most people can't even wait a month
right they start a diet and 14 days
later they don't have a six-pack and
they can't wait but like if you do a
year you can look whatever way you want
for the most part you know by and large
and if you wait a year for the ability
to learn how to sell you wait a year for
the ability to learn how to Market wait
a year just providing value to a group
of people for free and then delaying
your ask
you can do whatever you want now and I

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don't know how you can react to this if
we can separate that idea from being
patient yeah so I made a shirt that said
[ __ ] patience okay but yeah if you're
not playing the long game you're screwed
so my thing with patience is you have to
go all out at a sprinter's pace totally
and run a marathon at a sprinter's pace
if you want to achieve something yeah
that's where people fall down you'll
find people that can wait but can they
and this is one of my all-time favorite
quotes I'm pretty sure it's Winston
Churchill though people often attribute
things to him yeah who knows uh success
is the ability to go from failure to
failure without a loss of enthusiasm now
there are people that can go from
failure to failure but do they lose the
enthusiasm can they attack it as hard I
was telling you at the at the end of
this year we have a plastic table that
I'm going to smash the little pieces
because it has come to represent like
the hardest thing that I've built in my
professional career they're just all the
[ __ ] problems that have been

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associated with it
and but I'm still going after it is hard
every day and when I think about
like so because I've had success and I
know how many people are chasing it I
can just say people a lot of time it's
not going to give you what you think
it's going to give you so like don't
bother chasing that kind of success yeah
uh so an easy way to say it is uh don't
worry about winning a championship ring
worry very much about becoming capable
of a championship performance that will
be a far more interesting life because
you really do want to get that good yeah
but in the pursuit of that thing in
getting that good it's like it is going
to take an inhuman amount of
concentration willingness to fight
through the pain and suffering and an
ability to attach enough meaning and
purpose to it yeah that you'll keep
going when you're just getting
kicked in the space over and over like
it's crazy yeah and so knowing how badly
people want that I want for them that

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thing like how whatever it is and and I
have a method that I can teach people
how to do it but most people still won't
do it which is to build the desire to
create an association between the doing
that thing yeah and the meaning and
purpose that you want to have for your
own life and that it's not going to seem
self-evident you have to bolt it on it
feels kind of fake in the beginning but
if you really invest and it really is
something that you care about it can't
be fake but if it really is something
that you care about and you build that
intense Association then you can fight
through that but
boredom kills more entrepreneurs than
fear or failure ever will
when you say boredom do you mean that
they're starting something it's starting
to work and then they just switch
because they're add or no I mean that
doing something where you don't get the
result that you want and it's 10 years
out and you're gonna have to do what
Jeff Bezos calls overhead right no
matter how much you love your job
there's always overhead there's a boring
[ __ ] yeah and what I find is people they

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can't stay on task yeah I find in myself
a strong desire not to stay on task
because it is boring it's just boring or
even worse
if it feels bad yeah and you have to
keep doing it and you have to wake up
every day and face that like this is
really going to be tough and it's going
to be tough for a very an undetermined
amount of time yeah so it's not even
like I know it's going to be a year yeah
it's there's an unknown amount of
suffering before me and I have to
somehow continue to muster the
enthusiasm and have faith yeah that this
theory that I have is actually going to
work out or that I'll get better right
that maybe this Theory isn't the Right
theory but I'll be able to figure it out
it's interesting you say that because um
we talk about need to beliefs when we're
thinking about a company that we want to
like invest in and so it's like what are
the you know we try to have as few
native beliefs as possible for you know
a growth thesis to happen
um and then not only do we want to have
as few as possible interesting need to
believe like I need to believe that this
is true for this outcome to be possible

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00:32:00.000 --> 00:33:00.000
yeah so how do we have as few of those
as possible and how do we have that
those need to believe statements are as
high likely as humanly possible right so
it's like do like if we had a business
that was reliant on and you know an
inflationary period or something I'd say
like okay well I believe that that's you
know
High likelihood that it's going to occur
okay so I feel okay about that one and
if that was the only thing I need to
believe for this whole business to be
successful like where do I write a check
this is the only thing right so it's how
many of these are there right and if
there's a lot of them then with each
additional line or likelihood of getting
the outcome we want goes down
um and so I think that if reversing that
for success for somebody who's coming
along is like
what amount of action would it be
unreasonable for me not to be successful
and so for me it's like I I believe that
if you do 10 000 cold calls you'll
you'll get better like it would be
unreasonable for you not to be good like
after that level of effort if you if you
run you know if you take half your
paycheck every month or a 30-year

34
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paycheck every month and you say I'm
going to advertising University which is
I'm going to spend money actually
advertising trying to get people to
click on this thing and give me their
name and phone number if you go and you
spend that amount of money on actually
advertising after a year after two years
you'll probably you'll probably be
pretty good especially if you join a
community other people who are doing the
same thing right you see got mentors who
are doing who who have done and give you
Frameworks that you can just work off so
you can shortcut your path to success it
becomes unreasonable that you wouldn't
be more successful in the future than
you are today and so I like thinking
about things in terms of directionally
correct rather than will I hit it or not
right I think there's so many binaries
because it's easy psychologically for us
to say yes no honest dishonest Etc
successful not successful
um but it makes making decisions really
hard
because you're like is this the path for
me is this the product owned the
business I'm going to start where I was
like well if I started something I would
be more likely to be successful than if
I did not start anything and from there
I will gain experience in perspective to

35
00:34:00.000 --> 00:35:00.000
then make the next iteration on the main
thing and I was Quest your first thing
ever first successful thing but you've
done other stuff before that and failed
and I I still I was referrals like I
hope Quest wasn't his first thing
um most people had thank God it wasn't
right
most people had a graveyard of failures
before they had their actual first
success and so most people spend all
this time
um a different tweet that went viral it
said like with 20 hours of focused
effort most people can be pretty decent
at something whether it's guitar it's
singing even cold calling if you
actually cold call it for 20 hours
focused effort
you'd be decent but most people spend
years waiting to do the first hour
whoa
whoa and so it's like how can I decrease
that action threshold and get someone to
just just just embrace the suck and so
it's like how can I normalize no's so
it's like if I'm teaching somebody to
sell it's like dude I need to get 100 of
those all right let's get 100 for me I
don't care about the S just get 100 no's
and the thing is all of a sudden if the

36
00:35:00.000 --> 00:36:00.000
no becomes the goal then they realize
that it's about the process and not the
outcome and then they will become better
sales people because they stop being
afraid of it the same thing like for
training salesperson I want them to hear
the gasp right which is like you say a
price over the phone everyone's afraid
of saying the price it's like dude if
you didn't get a gasp you didn't go high
enough right they're like what I'm like
oh you failed terrible sale they didn't
gasp they're like really and so then it
becomes it flips it and becomes a point
of Pride it's like oh I got her you
should hear the gasp on this one and so
all of a sudden they stop being afraid
we normalize we do like exposure therapy
on things that people are most afraid of
and I hope that with all the stuff that
we do that we can do that in a microwave
for at least a handful of people so they
just start doing and realize that
they're going to gain perspective and
the light of their knowledge will give
them the next foot but the thing is
they're stuck on the first one trying to
pick the first path when they have no
idea what they're doing
was selling ever hard for you like the
idea of selling not that I'm sure you
were bad at it at one point but was the
idea of trying to convince somebody to
buy something yeah I uh so when I quit
my job
um my dad's buddy was in private Wealth
Management in Maryland and so he called

37
00:36:00.000 --> 00:37:00.000
me up and was like hey you should sell
for me and I to this day he jokes about
it now with me
um I said ah sales I was like I'm not a
Salesman I was like I'm an academic you
know what I mean I just come for a you
know on the bones and I thought you know
whatever and um and then lo and behold I
signed my lease I slept on the floor and
I was like how do I pay rent and woman
walks in the door and I was like I need
to get her to give me money so I can pay
rent
and I was like oh this is sales and I
didn't know so for me it was just
begging people to give me money in the
beginning like I promise I'm going to
give you the best results ever
um but the idea of sales was very I I
thought it was beneath me I thought it
was scammy I thought it was
used car sales you know just like the
abhorrent black you know that'd be the
right word but
um yeah and then I through exposure I
realized that it was and I ended up I in
life's irony being something that I've
really fallen in love with
there are there are people on the
internet I will let them remain nameless
that they give me the heebie-jeebies I

38
00:37:00.000 --> 00:38:00.000
am deeply uncomfortable with something
in the way that they sell and I've
actually never taken the time to figure
out what it is and I probably should I'd
make a lot more money but there are
people that made me deeply uncomfortable
and then there's something about you so
I'd never heard of you somebody ping me
was like yo you need to check this guy
out and I looked at your stuff and I'm
like there's something about the way
that you talk that is super matter
effect it isn't the I have nothing to
sell you because you're an incredible
salesperson so even when I interface
with the way that you sell it doesn't
creep me out I've I've not thought about
it enough to know why but I bet you have
what is it that makes a salesperson
creepy and why aren't you creepy
why aren't you creepy the the best the
best interview question I've ever had
um so I I think a lot about this because
I'm outlining the next book which is so
the next book is leads and I'm already
done the draft and you know how that is
where I'm like oh I'm not done that book
but like I'm like I can't wait for the
next book
um and so I'm thinking through like what
what is it that that sales is overall
right it's structuring a conversation to

39
00:38:00.000 --> 00:39:00.000
increase the likely that the person
who's on the other side gives you money
that's what it is it's structuring that
conversation that way and structuring
that conversation I heard you mention
something that you call and I I am so
only vaguely aware of like proper sales
oh but you said holding the frame oh
yeah like it's not about the words you
say it's how you say them and whether
you can hold the frame is that what you
mean by structure of the call all of it
yes I mean so what is what is the
structure what is holding a frame like
what does that mean so in
I have like I love sales so so when
you're when you're when two people
interact in general no matter what man
woman child whatever
two frames Collide and I believe it's
animalistic whatever it is there is a
there's a decision of who is Alpha now
the alpha is also contextual and so you
can be Alpha in like the president
United States is Alpha everywhere until
he goes into a doctor's office he tells
him to pull his ass and he sticks finger
up right frame right in that room doctor
is King right he is the alpha in that

40
00:39:00.000 --> 00:40:00.000
setting in that context and so the
ability to hold the frame for most for
most salespeople is really having a that
sounds crazy having a clear agenda and
controlling the conversation which is
why are we here right because it a lot
of sales is clear communication because
if you clearly communicate because the
biggest advantage that a salesman has is
that the person that's already said they
have a problem most times right so if
someone responds to a Content piece and
says hey can you help me they've already
enunciated they have an issue they have
a problem and so you already have the
inherent advantage of the frame which is
you said you needed help I'm here how
can I help you right and so it starts
with that right it's it's being clear
about why we're here and then we get
agreement that we understood the problem
that they said they had next and then
from that point we have to turn the
desire into a decision which is okay you
say you want these things here's the
frame that I want to give you to analyze
the decision can we agree to this Frame
right and so for example if I were
selling marketing services and I so

41
00:40:00.000 --> 00:41:00.000
whenever we we rework a sales script
with any of the portfolio companies
which is one of the things that we do to
make them grow
a lot of times they have all this
gobbledygook right and so I like the
shortest possible scripts we can because
a lot of communication is wasted right
so what happens a lot of times on a
sales call is they say hello build
rapport talk for 30 minutes see that
there's time that's running out and then
realize they have to pitch right and so
then they motor mouth and then just
awkwardly ask right and it is to your
point about it seeming icky right or
sucking
um is that it's not normal human
communication and you're not providing
value to the other person
and so if giving Clarity to someone on a
decision is tremendous value
and so if you can sell in a way that
clarifies a decision my objective always
when I teach sales the goal is not to
get the person to buy the goal is to get
the person to decide
and I believe that people don't decide
for only three reasons and this comes
from Albert Ellis this is not me but
people blame
all the woes of their lives on

42
00:41:00.000 --> 00:42:00.000
circumstances
other people
and then ultimately themselves
and so when we're overcoming obstacles
in a sale we have to make sure that we
are accounting for the circumstances
which is taking away time as a reason
they can't do it taking away money is a
reason they can't do it taking away
particular aspects of the product
there's a reason they can't do it we
have to make sure that they don't cast
their power to other people and saying I
can't make this decision someone else
has to make it and then finally when
they're with themselves they want to
avoid the decision they want to delay it
they want to not make it I'm not going
to think about it right and so the idea
is that I believe that if you sell
properly you can talk to an empowered
person and you have to basically sift
through the crap that they're telling
themselves about why they can't decide
why they have to talk to their husband
why the circumstance of their situation
matter
and so I think that if you can do that
and communicate that in a conversation
you are you have made someone feel
powerful and you've given them the tools
to make a decision and then in making
that decision they take a step towards
the life they want to have and so if you
can structure a conversation that way

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00:42:00.000 --> 00:43:00.000
it's not icky it's value additive and
then ultimately you do make more money
but you're not focused on that because
you're focusing on helping them make the
call
and if we can do that you can sell
whatever you want
and I think that's like that's what I
try and structure and that's why I'm so
excited for the sales book when it
finally comes out but most of it's clear
communication when I listen to sales
calls because I still kind of do it
because I like it
um it's like therapeutic you know what I
mean
um there's so much there's so much waste
there's so there's no there no people
aren't direct it's like why are we here
you and someone's like I just want to
get more information that's an obstacle
no you didn't you're not here because
you want more information you're here
because you're suffering from a problem
you don't just hop on sales calls all
day to get information no you're trying
to solve something right what are you
trying to solve what are you in pain
from got it so let me make sure I
understand this label the problem right
so it's like a lot of people just don't
know how to talk and they just make face
noise at each other and no one's
listening and no one's talking they ping
pong back and forth no one actually is
listening yeah they're not communicating
at all right they say a statement I mean
someone says I'd literally just reviewed
a sales call yesterday

44
00:43:00.000 --> 00:44:00.000
guy says uh I'm not sure now's a good
time salesman then responds with uh well
you know I'm not sure if if you're a
good fit if you're if you're not sure
because it just goes off on this weird
tangent and then there's a pause and the
guy just asked another question no
communication happened it was like I
have a question you just said a bunch of
words and I guess it's normal for me to
say something else now and so then he
just asked another question right and so
it's clear like what and then normally
when you overcome these sorry I could
talk about this forever but like when
you overcome these obstacles with
somebody's like I don't have time right
I'll just give you a simple one because
this is one this is for everybody who's
listening because right now you're
probably not doing something because
you're like I'm too busy I'll start when
it's convenient whatever
if you say that as the excuse for not
doing something then there's an
assumption underlying that that says
that if I get busy again in the future I
will stop
and so do you want the success that you
want to be long-term yes then do you
believe that you'll never be busy again
for the rest of your life no so that you

45
00:44:00.000 --> 00:45:00.000
might as well start when you're busy so
you have the most support because if you
learn how to do it and you're busy when
you get when it gets quiet you'll
succeed even more and when it gets busy
again you know how to do it because
that's how you start it
right obstacle overcome
and then one step closer to make a
decision and so what happens is in the
even in the obstacle process when people
are trying to sell stuff
people start from the outside in so it's
so easy to say I don't have time it's
the easiest thing it's out of time after
money right and then once you peel you
you show them how that's a fallacy it's
a logical foul it's a distortion of
reality you peel that back you get one
layer close to them my wife won't let me
my partner won't let me my kids so you
can feel like it's it's closer to you
right and you peel that out because how
do you overcome that well
five years from now if you didn't do the
things that you wanted to do with your
life
and you blamed your wife the whole time
because she wouldn't let you do it
you're gonna play it
her is that fair for your marriage for
your relationship
what do you think now so I think what

46
00:45:00.000 --> 00:46:00.000
you're doing is you're asking
permissions instead of support
all right let me show you how you have
that conversation with your wife right
so now we're we're sliding the other
side of the table and be like let's play
this out right it's not going to go the
way you think it's going to go because
if you keep repeating this habit you're
going to end up five years from now
you're gonna look at your life the same
way you're looking at now
and hating it and who you're gonna blame
now you're five years in you still kind
of like your wife five years from now
you might not so much because you've had
10 more times you've tried to do
something she said no so it's today the
day right
and so we peel one layer and then
finally you're the person who's
squirming there right because you've
forced them to confront reality which is
now they don't want to make the decision
right because they're like I'm just
going to avoid it in my shirt et cetera
et cetera and you're like hold on like
I've got you you know what I mean like
we're gonna get through this because you
because you're just wading through this
[ __ ] that people tell themselves right
and so finally when they're in the
avoidance part the biggest fear they
have is making a mistake
right they don't want to be seen stupid
they don't want to lose status as a
result of this decision and so when
we're when we're when we're dealing with
that
it's making them understand that you
don't need time to make a decision you
need information and if the only source

47
00:46:00.000 --> 00:47:00.000
of the information you have is May then
let's talk what are the variables you
can use to make the decision
and a lot of people haven't even thought
through that it's like well if you don't
know what they are why don't I walk you
through four that might be useful
does this thing solve the problem the
way you want it to be solved yes or no
yes
do you want to work with us yes or no
yes
do you know someone you have access the
amount of money to get started with this
program
yes or no yes great let's do it
right and so you can walk someone
through it and it's like oh
like and like you feel like just one of
this magical journey of like all these
things of why the reason they haven't
they decided not to make decisions but
so many people are stuck in that same
spot for why they're not taking action
whether it's selling a product or
selling themselves and I think that
those Frameworks of thinking through
each of those problems and there's I
have a zillion of them for each of those
things
um I had to develop because I use those
on myself
so I was like I have to give myself a
compelling reason to start doing stuff I

48
00:47:00.000 --> 00:48:00.000
have to give myself a compelling reason
to make decisions when I don't want to I
have to give myself a compelling reason
that I can explain to a partner of why I
made this decision right later
and so by doing that it decreased the
time between me getting information and
acting and then It sped out my decision
Loops in my life in general and then
obviously I applied that to sales but
I've applied it to everything
when I say these beliefs I don't say
these as a an affront to anyone who
shares different beliefs to be clear
um but for me a very core belief that
has been I think intrinsic to at least
the material success that we've
experienced has been a belief that
meeting is
self-ascribed so that there is no
inherent meaning in the things that we
do
um or the actions we take or the
outcomes that happen but only that which
we ascribe to it and so because of that
I feel like it's allowed me to the point
of what you're saying about like the
amount of pain and the amount of
suffering that you have to go through in
order to to achieve the things on the
other side I think it's been able to
it's allowed me to reframe a lot of the
discomfort into what if this just is how

49
00:48:00.000 --> 00:49:00.000
it always has been or what if this is
actually amazing
and what if this is exactly what it
should look like and so I think a lot of
times it's the it's the discrepancy
between our expectations in reality that
shape the emotions that we have in
response to any given situation bad good
Etc and so I think a lot of people can't
control their state and I we deal with
this with a lot of the portfolio
companies is it's like it's funny
because I don't even necessarily want to
get in this I want to talk about like
the business and what's the strategy how
we're going to execute the stuff but you
know there's a big percentage of time
where they're stressed and they think
there's something wrong with that
and so I feel like
a lot of people feel like there's
something wrong with experiencing human
emotions
and so they are stressed and then think
there's something wrong with them
or they are sad and I know this is the
thing that the keyboards are you know
the fingers are right on top of it
it's my belief it is contrarian I accept
that
that
it's it's the beliefs we have about our

50
00:49:00.000 --> 00:50:00.000
emotions that are the things that drive
us mad facts and so somebody's sad and
then they tell themselves that they're
they're bad because they're sad or
they're wrong to be sad or they're a
piece of [ __ ] because they're sad
um rather than saying isn't this a
beautiful thought about the human
existence like if I could not be sad
then I would not experience Joy so like
if I say that I don't want to be sad
anymore then I would also have to give
up Joy am I willing to do that no well
then this is just a part like I can't
say that I want sunny days if there are
no rainy days
like we don't say weather is good or bad
it just is
and so I think to the same degree The
Human Experience is also that way too at
least how I Define it and so I think
having that as my backbone frame in
terms of my worldview although
contrarian has helped me a lot in
dealing with the things that often
derail entrepreneurs on their path to
getting what they want and so for me
that's been very helpful so from a
contrarian standpoint of like Bully you
know Peter thiel's question like what
closely hopefully do you have that most
people don't agree with that's one of
them
um
I'm scandalized by the way that that one

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is
something that people don't hold I think
that people get themselves in trouble
because
they believe the opposite of the
following quote there is nothing either
good or bad but thinking makes it so
yeah and they think that no there are
things that are objectively good and bad
and I'm simply recognizing the truth
that is the that's certainly what I
struggle with the most in my own life
that I was simply when I had a negative
view of myself or anything else that I
was simply recognizing the truth of the
situation not understanding how the
belief I had about the thing was
influencing my behaviors and my behavior
is entirely determined My outcome and so
then I was like well hold on if if my
behaviors are predicated on my beliefs
and my outcomes are predicated on my
behaviors and my outcomes are actually
linked to my beliefs totally and so I've
got to go in and make sure that I'm
believing things that are effective and
so my whole thing is I only do and
believe that which moves me towards my
goals now the next question that people
ask is well then does that mean that you
believe things that aren't true and the

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answer is unintentionally no and the
reason is unintentionally no is because
that to me something is true based on
its ability to increase your ability to
predict the future and the outcome of
your actions that that's what's true if
I touch this hot stove it's going to
burn me yeah I believe that to be true
because hey I've touched hot things
before and they actually do burn me and
so when you can like in sales if I
structure the conversation in this way
it's more likely to lead to an outcome
that thing is true just because you've
run the experiment enough times to be
like yeah that actually gives me the
ability to predict the outcome of these
actions
and when I encounter people that either
don't even know what their own belief
system is and so they they think this
isn't a belief this just is true about
the world I'm like no that that is a
belief that you've chosen to believe in
it's completely [ __ ] you up
one of my favorite quotes I think if
there were to be a quote that would be
on my Tombstone it
it's top three which I love a lot of

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quotes
um it's uh Orson Scott Card he said uh
we question all of our beliefs except
for those that we truly believe and
those who never think the question yes
and so it's because you truly believe it
and those are the ones those are the
pesky ones those are the ones I think um
I was told because you get asked a lot
I'm sure like hey I'm going to talk to a
mentor what question should I ask them
and I got this really good one which is
what do I believe to be true that isn't
whoa and so it's a great question right
and because I I'm sure you see it and if
I talk to somebody I can tell like they
they cast these views of what is and
what isn't about business about marriage
about health whatever it is and they say
like and then they and then they operate
off of that framework of assumptions
which is might be patently false and
then they wonder why what they're doing
is not working it's like because the
entire Foundation upon which you built
this thing is just wrong right and so
um the easy you know the easiest way to
do that is to get people ahead of you
who tell you by the way I don't think
that belief is true but you have to get
in a place that somebody can actually
communicate that to you and be open to

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it yeah and then you have to do
something about it which most people
don't otherwise you get one piece of
advice and people like oh God you're not
going to do anything with this yeah like
that that's the hard part so yeah I have
the saying impact Theory University
where I always thought all I would ever
teach is business and I found yeah that
to get people primed to do the business
part I first had to deal with all the
lies that they were telling to believe
like the self-destructive behavior all
that one once you could get past that
then they had an actual shot at running
the business but because success is the
ability to go from failure to failure to
failure without a loss of enthusiasm and
the ability to do that is predicated on
the story you're telling yourself about
yourself you believe that it was all
like this [ __ ] mindset like yeah
Rat's Nest of like God if I can help you
like peel this stuff back and be able to
get out of your own way but most people
can't but it's really interesting when
you were saying that I was like
part of what makes
like when you hear somebody speak and
they really resonate with you they give

55
00:54:00.000 --> 00:55:00.000
you the chills you get excited it's
because they're either putting words to
something that you felt but you didn't
know how to articulate and now it's
super Concrete in your mind or they make
you realize you believe something that
wasn't true yeah and that's when it's
like I you feel like you're being set
free totally and that's like
that's really exciting it's like a
weight vanishes
that's my that's what I like that's what
I think sales is
is that is that people have these
beliefs and you have to know like the
the process of being a good salesperson
is being able to help people break the
beliefs that they have about themselves
or about the realities that are not true
and so I think if you can basically just
unencumber somebody then it becomes very
easy to sell someone because if you have
the struggle we have the solution do you
believe that buying the solution will
get you more likely to get to the
outcome you want yes
what are we doing let's go you know what
I mean just but talking to that person
you have to Wade through all this stuff
but like I believe that I'd like you
know if I speaking that was like I
believe that you could start a college
be like you want to do it and then just
start from there right like depending on

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what someone's consumed beforehand
um but
I'll tell you one of the things that's
that's shaped my life in terms of
business stuff is understanding the
concepts of of Leverage right and so a
lot of people are limited
um by either the skills the beliefs or
the traits they have right and so the
skill deficiency is the easiest one to
fix it's like go do repetitions
in a community of people who are also
doing repetitions to learn the same
skill and you will learn it quickly
right that's the thing
then you have traits and beliefs which
is a little bit more amorphous right and
so from a from a beliefs perspective
it's you need someone to tell you
stories that you believe to be true that
conflict with your view of reality
and then their their the evidence of
their story being truer than yours then
that it's like a frame control that
frame now wins and that becomes the new
lens that you see everything through and
so I had a friend who had a fitness app
and he was doing 20 000 a month he was a

57
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CrossFit competitor really high up he
didn't win of course how like all he's
like he didn't win so he didn't want to
tell anybody that he acts he didn't
think he deserved it he didn't deserve
to have an app because he didn't want
anyone to know because he's like how
dare I make a fitness app because I was
only fourth in the world you know what I
mean or whatever
and then all of a sudden he talked to
somebody he got over it and then he just
started just telling people he had a nap
and he went from like 20 000 a month to
a hundred thousand dollars a month and
so it's not that his skills changed it's
not that his trades changed he was still
just as hard working same looked the
same Etc I was like it's just his
beliefs right and I'm sure in the in The
Entrepreneur Space one of the most
common traits is is Focus right people
can't do the same thing over and over
again they just do all these half built
Bridges and so I know for me my big
explosion happened in my entrepreneurial
Journey when I went from having nine
businesses that is not a misspeak nine
as in one less than ten
at the same time that I was CEO of all
love so I had a I had a dental agency
marketing agency I had a chiropractor

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marketing agency I had gym launch where
we'd fly out and do gym turnarounds and
then I had five gyms of my own Jesus at
the same time
and I was somehow perplexed as why I
wasn't making any money I was there's
like everything was always on fire all
the time and I always just sold my ass
off enough to be able to pay all the
bills and have nothing left over that
was the that was how I rocked it
um and it was only you know when Layla
came in and she was like you know
I think maybe if we just did one thing
you could win because she was like
imagine imagine if all you had to do is
make one of these businesses work how
easy would that be I was like oh my God
if I want to make one of the mark would
be a joke and like I heard myself say
that and I was like you're an idiot
why are you so dumb and so like the
trait that I was missing at that point
was Focus
and or discipline I couldn't say no I
didn't have that muscle so that was a
trait I lacked and so it's like boom and
then that blew up and so it's like
sometimes the question is which of these
things do people lack
um and so since we don't always know

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because we don't have the perspective to
judge ourselves often it's like you just
got to keep moving in all of the
directions getting in those communities
and then like that's ultimately like I'm
a big believer in the alternative
education space the whole Guru space
that everyone you know laments and hates
um I learned
everything from that space that's going
to go away there's always going to be
fake people that people will be
dismissive of but we're just in a weird
transitional moment now where
traditional college is people are
beginning to realize a some of these
degrees are dubious at best and then B
and here's the thing that breaks my
heart yeah a teacher 99 times out of 100
has gotten good at one thing teaching
yeah so people like why don't they teach
us this in high school Finance mindset
whatever I'm like because they don't
[ __ ] know like they can't do it in
their own life God bless them there are
so many things that like I'm terrible at
yeah and so I feel their pain they've
gone down the path of being an educator
and so what they know how to do is
educate but they don't necessarily know

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Finance mindset whatever and if they did
they would be off doing those things and
so getting somebody who's expert at that
stuff to teach is next to impossible
until now yeah like when I grew up you
had to go to the library to like find a
quote or something like that correct it
was insane how hard it would be just to
find a cool quote you would literally
just like find okay this philosopher and
you'd flip anything cool on this page
flip anything cool in this way and then
you would find something you'd have to
build like a whole argument around the
quote you could find yeah is crazy so
nowadays you're able to get like when I
stop and think okay hold on I've been in
business now for 20 plus years I've had
an incredible career already and feel
like I'm just getting started and I pour
my heart and soul into teaching
everything I know as fast as I can
[ __ ] talk and people can get access
to that with a few clicks on the
internet like that's bananas and so
enough people that have a real track
record are gonna put courses together

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that then help people go on to have a
career you know one of the things that
happened recently I had this like big
Epiphany moment so I'll share it with
you but I was um I was talking to Caleb
my video my my man
um and he was like you know I I've I'm a
competitive person
um and so I look at the the grants and
the garys and stuff I'm like man by the
time I'm back at their age I was like
I'm going to be way ahead of them right
and I think it was Kayla who said it
back to me he's like yeah he's like yeah
but
Gary didn't have Gary hmm
I like it like really like hit me right
and so I think that there was because
you know there's gen Z that's coming up
and whatnot there's always these
disconnects and there's there's I don't
see Wars there's conflict between age
groups Etc and the old guys are like
these kids don't know what I had to go
through they've got it so easy right and
these guys are like these guys I was
just saying three minutes ago yeah these
guys are out of touch right but at the
flip side if you ask an entrepreneur
what his goal is he's the work make the
world a better place to have an impact
Etc and it's like well if you want to

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01:01:00.000 --> 01:02:00.000
make the world a better place doesn't
that mean the Next Generation has it
easier
like doesn't that mean we did our job
and so there's this this Con this
competition that I used to feel towards
like the older classmen if you know like
think about it like entrepreneurial
grades I should be like I'm gonna be
further faster or whatever by that time
than that guy is but lo and behold those
guys helped me so of course it would
make sense that I get there faster and
like I'm sure you've like there are guys
in their in their mid-20s with nine
figure companies that and they're
killing it and that wasn't it just
wasn't
how do I say it wasn't possible it was
extremely extremely extremely unlikely
20 years ago yeah right but because of
the access to information the
information's out there and so somebody
who's 26 can have the experience of
somebody who's 60. yeah 20 years ago so
they can be as good at the game Real
Talk as good at the game as somebody
that much older it's because they've had
Warren Buffett videos they've been able
to watch
their whole High School about finance

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01:02:00.000 --> 01:03:00.000
and investing and Charlie marker talking
about character traits and all these
things that you wouldn't you didn't have
you know what I mean like you might have
the shareholder letter and that's all
you got you just had to keep rereading
it right and so anyways it's been a
really interesting shift for me to also
think about the fact that
a lot of times we think like I want to
be the greatest of all time I'm sure a
lot of people do right whatever
but if I did my job I won't be
because somebody else will be better
than me if I did my job yeah and so that
was like a really interesting point that
I feel like shifted inside of me in
terms of a competition and thinking like
I shouldn't be competing against these
guys who are ahead of me I should be
thanking them because of course I'm
going to be there sooner faster than
them I was like because I had them and
they didn't have them they were just
doing both
because you should want to [ __ ] Crush
all of us
dude you're on such a rad pace and
here's the thing the older guys owe it
to themselves to to be thrilled that

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01:03:00.000 --> 01:04:00.000
business is a sport that you don't have
to age out of yeah so my knees going bad
doesn't [ __ ] matter in business yeah
and I should be able to capitalize on
all the things that I know and all that
so I should be able to keep going until
I run out of desire to do all this but
my thing is I don't want people to give
up on competition so I used to be afraid
of competition because I sucked and I
didn't think I could get better so with
a fixed mindset okay competition was not
interesting I there's only one thing
that I've ever gotten a disproportionate
return on and that is speaking so I've
always been highly verbal yeah but when
I was coming up ah how do you do
something with that yeah I didn't want
to be an actor so it was like well there
wasn't a lot of avenues it's obviously
changed and I've been able to capitalize
on it right now that once once I had uh
something to say and a camera I wasn't
an idiot I'm like I am so verbal I will
perform very well on camera that was
highly strategic nobody should feel bad
for me so it's like cool I got to
finally leverage that Talent so
I love that the Young Bucks are coming

65
01:04:00.000 --> 01:05:00.000
up yeah it feels so rad my whole thing
is I have had to learn everything the
hard way it's just the way that I'm
wired whatever so it Stokes me out to be
able to go okay I learned this through
Blood Sweat and Tears a massive amount
of pain and suffering I'm gonna tell it
to you as fast as I can [ __ ] talk
I'll do it for free like yes I have my
page [ __ ] but I'm also like it's not
like I'm holding anything back right now
so I will give people all the
information and my hope is that you come
up but be aware I want to compete I want
to be on the field I want these young
guys who think they can check a job like
all right [ __ ] like we're in
this let's go but it's a light energy
it's an expansive energy like if
somebody beats me passes me whatever
cool I'm all for it as long as you're
down for me to be on the field and go as
hard as I can and want to win and
constantly push myself like it's fun
because I no longer one I know what
success is and people end up trapping
themselves thinking it's money all that
[ __ ] like they have a very painful
Awakening mean coming their way which I

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01:05:00.000 --> 01:06:00.000
had to live through and then also it's
like being able to play is fun man and
so if you lose sight of the fun and
you're just worried like oh is somebody
better than me are they outperforming me
whatever
you're gonna miss out I would say the
the um the both sides of it right you've
got the guys who are ahead who I used to
be like I'm gonna do all this right and
the guy's behind her I'm like they're so
lucky right if only I had right that
that thinking and I feel like at least
it was just that that little quote like
Gary didn't have Gary like that thought
process for me I feel like for me
like my competitive drive's never going
anywhere like it's going to be there
forever but the I feel like I was able
it was more like doing honor to the game
yeah that I'm going to bring to
transform my potential into reality and
drag it by the [ __ ] balls if I have
to to make it happen
like it was more to honor the game and
all the other players in it yep rather
than me trying to like and it almost
felt small-minded be like why am I going
to pick this guy to compete against like

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01:06:00.000 --> 01:07:00.000
how about just
doing a service to the game about being
an excellent player
I love that as long as you don't lose
sight of the whole Kobe thing like what
made Kobe so interesting to me yeah was
that he was just die hard dude yeah and
so I'm not a sports guy so never really
thought about Kobe like that yeah but I
was so inspired by the way he would talk
about things I never got to meet him
which I'm absolutely mortified by but
the way he talked about everything I was
like wow what a [ __ ] competitor like
and as I had gotten older and really
learned the power of competition and
being willing to put myself out there
and go For Broke and like really find my
limits right and I want to die like I I
can already tell you just the way that
I'm wired I will be horrified by the the
personal limitations that I have because
we all do we're 50 hardwired 50
malleable I'm gonna do the most that I
can with my malleable I'm already
traumatized by my limitations right but
like you know I'm going for it but so
watching Kobe I was like damn like I'm

68
01:07:00.000 --> 01:08:00.000
so inspired by the willingness to push
yourself that hard to see like what do I
have in me yeah
and then that [ __ ] went from
basketball into my Arena and he came
into film
and his first film he won an Academy
Award now I was like this [ __ ] guy
but I was so inspired right and so I may
be misinterpreting what you're saying
but what hits me is Caleb's comment took
it from maybe a bit of a dark energy to
like oh that's actually pretty rad that
I had an advantage that he didn't have
it makes me appreciate the game makes me
want to play with honor and honor these
guys so it becomes this expansive thing
but I would expect you to dunk on me if
you can right and then be like help me
out bro let's run the All-Star Game you
know it's all good like we both [ __ ]
made it but at the same time like yeah
I'm gonna be trying to dunk on you you
know what I mean but like with a smile
and like a handshake and the way that
you hear like the guys that were on that
first Dream Team yeah talk about each
other and like repping the country which

69
01:08:00.000 --> 01:09:00.000
is to me what you say when you want to
honor the game it's like hey
we're [ __ ] repping something in that
case America yeah basketball yeah
but we're here to win but we're also
here to have fun and like that's my
thing and what I always tell whether
you're trying to be an entrepreneur or a
better parent whatever is you've got to
optimize for the game still being fun
when you're losing yeah if you can't
have fun when you lose oh man my heart
bleeds for you because you're gonna lose
so often it just is what it is yeah even
people that win you just lose so many
times whether it's a just a lead funnel
that didn't work or you go up on stage
and it [ __ ] bombs whatever but
there's going to be a lot of losing in
your career it's like Jordan's whole
thing about I've lost this many games
taking this many winning shots in this
law and I succeed because of all of that
right so you've got to be able to have
fun in the loss because I can guarantee
the struggle I can't guarantee success
so you've got to be able to love that
but if you love that there is something
about going for broke that I'm so
honored by even though that means that

70
01:09:00.000 --> 01:10:00.000
people are gunning for me yeah
it's worth it it's funny because when I
think about that I think about game
theory in general which I'm sure you're
very familiar with right and so it's um
it's shifting from like the finite to
the infinite perspective and so like how
do you win at business
you win by not stopping yep like from an
infinite from an infinite you know what
I mean and so
um that's always been one that's that's
been interesting to me but I'm I'm super
open to uh to what you're saying with
the uh the competitiveness piece
um and I probably share some of the
similar things to you of I guess when
you were younger or at least my age
right
um
trying to trying to take the good of
competition and cast out the bad of
competition and so trying to like
separate those things and I think this
has been part of my attempt at doing
that is reframing the game in that way
um
and trying to look at it from the
infinite perspective of like there is no
number one
like they're like is it is it because

71
01:10:00.000 --> 01:11:00.000
because if you're saying number one you
say of what year over what time that's
exactly right right is it by what metric
is it by your net worth is my cash flow
is it by age age by net worth buy per
unit of time you know what I mean if
Warren Buffett had died at 74 no one
would care right and I would just give
people the punch line all that matters
is how they feel about themselves and by
themselves that's it please only chase
that now when you're chasing that at a
grand scale it's amazing because you're
like whoa here
dude yeah I'm so curious to see if you
agree with this so here's my whole
thesis on life so first of all Chase
fulfillment it's the only thing that's
stable across Joy and Pain yeah process
yep and then the best thing that life
has off you the [ __ ] best there is no
emotional Peak higher than the following
you're working really hard at something
and it's working and if you pull this
off there there's huge upside yeah that
moment it's better than the actual huge

72
01:11:00.000 --> 01:12:00.000
upside like the the moments in my life
where I'm like climbing it this perilous
Cliff I'm [ __ ] looking down my
fingers are just ice cold right and I'm
I'm just clinging but I'm like [ __ ] I'm
making good progress like I've really
come a long way I can see the peak it's
not that far and if I get up there
there's like a crazy Vegas buffet and an
orgy and it's like oh my God if I
[ __ ] get there this is gonna be the
best yeah it's actually better than the
buffet in the origin you know what I
mean it's like it's that moment where
you're like your fingers are freezing
but you're gonna make it like that's the
[ __ ] juice and so hey enjoy the food
enjoy the orgy they're incredible but I
promise as soon as they're over you're
gonna be like where is that next thing
that I can get my [ __ ] fingers
freezing to death again
it just is that's the Human Condition
and when people understand the game when
you understand that I can never take a
drink so thirst quenching that I'll
never need another drink again there's
no meal so amazing that you'll never be

73
01:12:00.000 --> 01:13:00.000
hungry again there's no sex so good that
you'll never want sex again it just
that's just the way the human animal is
wired like when people are at peace with
that ugh
like then now you've really got a shot
at loving your life understanding the
cycles and that you're gonna keep doing
the climb and so you better love the
climb
I love the uh
the that moment before the moment
that was like I was I was thinking as
you were saying I was thinking back to
like the few of those moments that I've
had like the first time you know you
start running ads and like you start
getting your first lead you're like holy
[ __ ] it's working yeah like it's that
you know I mean that moment or the first
I remember uh when I got uh I hired my
first sales person and they closed the
sale and I wasn't there so as the first
person that had made me money who wasn't
me yeah and I was like I pulled over the
side of the road and I teared up because
I was like
it doesn't have to just be me anymore
you know what I mean it's like I was
thinking about all these these moments
that I've had

74
01:13:00.000 --> 01:14:00.000
um I remember when we were Layla and I
were sitting over the kitchen counter
and we had just switched from uh flying
out a sales team in person to do these
turnarounds uh to switching the
licensing and
um I got on the phone to tell the guys
who I was gonna launch the next month
that we weren't going to do that anymore
we're thinking about switching
directions and so I said hey you know
what I can't do it but I'll I'll tell
you how I do it but I'm not flying out
there anymore and they were like oh
that's fine how much and I didn't want
to do it so I picked a super high number
and then uh which was six thousand
dollars at the time and uh the guy said
yes and I was like and I remember that
moment being like holy [ __ ] what just
happened and I had seven more calls a
day and like that day I made like sixty
thousand dollars and I had just been
un like the story I was telling Let's Go
full circle like I just been completely
broken like in that moment like Jim
launch hadn't been created yet there
wasn't you know all these other things
but in that moment I was like what if
this keeps happening like are we out of
it like did or like did we finally is
this the one thing that's finally gonna

75
01:14:00.000 --> 01:15:00.000
get me out of like failure after failure
after failure after failure and so it's
just like at what is the what is the
event that gives you the biggest
predictor of the future success so like
there's micro wins of like hey the
funnel's working I've got leads and then
you have like a day of huge sales like
what if this happened every day and then
maybe you exit Quest and you're like
what if I exit five more times you know
I mean like so anyways I was just that
was really cool for me just even
thinking through like those those
snapshots of moments
yeah it's very incredible and you start
to learn like okay what is it that I
really love yeah and so for me when we
were at Quest and selling it and it was
huge and it changes your life and I mean
it was really bad and here's going back
to money so Quest ended up being two
bites of the Apple there was like a
first bite where we took a small
investment but the valuation was so big
it was life-changing yeah that was the
the biggest like Oh My God moment
because I went from uh my wife and I
share one car it's a beat up Ford Focus

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with a leaky exhaust borrowing rides off
my employees who had nicer cars me
delaying gratification and all of that
going from that to I now have a Beverly
Hills mansion that was the crazy moment
when I went from my starter Mansion to
my big mansion that wasn't as cool no it
wasn't his need of a moment even though
it was actually a bigger dollar amount
change it wasn't as like whoa I really
feel this change
and then thankfully I learned actually
when I was still not really making money
on paper I was worth two million dollars
yeah but I learned very quickly a the
money's not making me feel better about
myself which I secretly thought it would
uh and then also there's a big
difference between paper money and real
money yeah
um but I learned that lesson so I never
tied my sense of self-worth to the money
or anything like that which is something
I constantly remind myself now not to
let my identity get tied up in that
because the world reflects that back to

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me all the time right so whether it's um
oh you sold a billion a company for a
billion dollars or uh amazing house or
even just oh my God like what you've
built socially it's incredible it's like
I have to really disconnect from that
because I'm like all of that is
transient it's all transient I have no
idea if any of it will be here tomorrow
so it's like you have to be really
thoughtful what is it you think about
yourself when you're by yourself what do
you think about that like now you've
been on both sides of the coin you've
changed your physique which is a big
thing but you change it so early
that I wonder how do you think about
yourself what's your self-image
what's it anchored to
I think anyone's harassment I don't know
I think it's um
unless unless I'm misunderstanding the
question but you know for me it's
I think a lot of my definitions have
been defined by my actions and so I am

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the person who has done these things and
I will do things that will get me closer
to the things that I want to achieve
and so a lot of my definition of self
has always been based on evidence and so
I think it was harder for me in the
beginning because I didn't have evidence
to support what I hope to be true about
myself which at the time wasn't
and so and what did you hope to be true
that you could figure it out or was it
always a result that you Associated it
to I mean it was I want to make more
money than my dad you know I mean that
was that was the thing you know for me
and that was that was all I needed you
know what I mean I didn't I didn't have
there was I remember thinking
uh in college because I you know it
you're young in college and it's like be
happy and all that stuff and I just
remember being like [ __ ] happiness and
that was like a moment for me I was like
[ __ ] happiness I don't care about
happiness I want to do this why didn't
you care about happiness that's very
counterintuitive even now super
counter-intuitive at that age yeah

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01:18:00.000 --> 01:19:00.000
um because I was obsessed with how not
happy I was and so so the things you
were doing that weren't designed to make
you happy that's what's weird so I was I
was so obsessed with like positive
psychology and I was reading all these
stuff and watching these TED Talks I
remember the whole I remember this whole
period of My Life
um and I was constantly assessing my
mood as a determination whether I was
happy or not it became so obsessive that
I was just like [ __ ] all of this I was
like I'm just gonna do [ __ ] and
that's all I was like I'm just gonna do
[ __ ] and hopefully it works out and did
you ever Define what works out means if
it isn't happening be less be less
unhappy I would say was my my thought
process it's which is like I'm just
gonna do the things and so I shifted
from a lot of introspection internal
mood regulation and thinking and stuff
and I think a lot of the reason that I
have the World Views I have about you
know emotions and whatnot have come from
this kind of initial experience so it's
like I had that and then I just started
working and then I found myself

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actually looking up after you know a
decent period of time being like you
know I'm actually I haven't thought
about happiness in a long time
and
I think I might be
and so I also don't really like the word
happiness because it's circumstantial
versus Joy but like I experienced Joy
significantly more now than I did than
when I was younger and I think it's
partially because like you can be
mournful and enjoy but we'll have to say
like so like if someone imagine someone
like it's like an appreciation of The
Human Experience
like this is terrible but like even like
even in the suffering there's Beauty in
that you know what I mean because it's
purely human yeah and so I think it was
disconnecting interesting that that it
matters to me as well but I've never had
to articulate it what what is the
connection to like The Human Experience
that is so
valuable that it's joyful even in
mourning I think it's just understanding
both sides of the coin I feel so like so

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like if there's a few things that I
believe it is that is that like
uh right now they're you know there's
things in my life that I don't like that
I wish were better and there are things
in my life that I really like and you
know 10 years ago it was the same way
and 10 years from now it'll be the same
way and when I die there will be stuff
that I will not have accomplished that I
will wish I had there will be things
that I wish I had done better that I
will not have done and there will be
things that I have done that I am proud
of and so like those things are not
going to change and so if
the only thing I mean this sounds
hopefully not overly tried but it's like
all I can do is just enjoy the game and
it took me a really long time to get
there like it took me a really long time
to get there um or at least it felt that
way or at least it felt like I suffered
a lot on that process which is why I
have a heart for people who are like
dude I'm you know I'm super sad I'm
super depressed whatever it is because I
judge myself so much on not being happy
all the time because I thought there was
something wrong with the fact that I
wasn't happy that I drove myself insane
not being happy rather than just being
like you know what maybe I'm just gonna
do the stuff and just [ __ ] happiness for
a minute and so I think it's like when
we have these uh like am I happy am I

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01:21:00.000 --> 01:22:00.000
not happy I think my my opinion is that
you you have to rise above it
so that you can just see you can feel
the Spectrum which is just being present
because I think again Alex's two cents
um have been around that long uh
if you are present you can you're
present like most people aren't present
ever and so it's like if I can just be
present even in my suffering I'm there
right then I can experience joy for
being human and having this experience
that I only get once and
the biggest frame shift that I've had in
terms of my experience of living has
been it's it sounds it sounds weird but
it's
so I call the grandfather frame which is
I learned how to become apathetic right
because that that took that took me time
to stop feeling pain you know how the
brain tries to predict the next word
somebody's gonna say apathetic was not
the word I was expecting you had to
learn to be apathetic yeah because I
cared so much about everything cared
about what everyone thought cared about
but I like like I cared about what

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01:22:00.000 --> 01:23:00.000
everyone thought and I probably still do
just less you know what I mean I still
do care just less right and so the frame
of the veteran taught me that which is
if this negative thing were to happen a
thousand times over and over and over
again how would I feel in the thousandth
time well probably not that bad well why
don't I just choose to feel that way now
right
and so that really helped me a lot just
the frame of the veteran right whether
it was traffic whether it was a breakup
whether like whatever it was I could
apply that like I got broken up with
every single day for a thousand straight
days
how much would have bought it
I'd still be here you know okay
and then I was like is there a way that
I can think of a frame that would allow
me to feel gratitude because it's
something that I've I've struggled to
feel right like I definitely get the
drive feeling got that one done in
Spades but gratitude not so much right
I've done the habits and things like
that and for me it didn't work I say it
doesn't just for me and so I thought of
this Frame which was I call the
grandfather frame but
waking up if I went into a time machine
I'm 85 years old right I'm like close to
dying a little creaky you know I've got
tons of money not a lot of time and I

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01:23:00.000 --> 01:24:00.000
somehow sacrifice all the money I have
just to be my age again as I wake up in
the morning and I'm my 85 year old self
living through my 30 year old body and
thinking through that frame of how I
would wake up and be like Oh my elbow's
daughter oh look I have muscles I
haven't had those in forever right now
look I'm like oh Layla she's so young I
remember when she used to look like this
and I look outside and I'm like man this
is Vegas before they did all the
helicopters and the flying cars I'm like
look at it God has changed so much right
then you walk downstairs you get like
man coffee ah look at these mugs
remember we had mugs didn't that crazy
and so it's this weird frame where it
just drills you it just begs you to the
present
and you get to experience the current
state from a future state
for the first time and so it's been one
of the things that's been really
profound for me in terms of like dealing
with dressers with getting into like
when I get into one of these like my
hold on
I'm 85 I'm waking up like all of a
sudden I'm like I remember when I used

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01:24:00.000 --> 01:25:00.000
to stress about these business things I
was like it works out it's fine and if
it doesn't who cares I was like I'm
gonna be 85 I'm gonna die I'm gonna give
all my money away who cares and so and
I'm like but isn't this cool that I'm
like look at me all trying to play the
game you know my got it bud and so it's
like it gets me into this really
interesting place where I can feel like
I can get above myself in the game and
just be like
and I I think for a lot of people if
they can
those frames have served me very well
and I hope that other people can use
those in some way in their life to do
stuff that they weren't otherwise going
to do
um so that was the that's my my two
frames that have certainly wrong do
frames of reference is everything this
is actually what started impact theory
in the iteration that it became
So macquest and I've got a thousand
employees that grow up hard in the inner
cities but intelligence is evenly
distributed right so just like you have
Dumb Friends in an upper middle class
neighborhood you can have Dumb Friends
in the inner city but just like you have

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01:25:00.000 --> 01:26:00.000
Smart friends you're gonna have Smart
friends and so there were plenty of
people that I was like damn like you are
smart yeah but your frame of reference
is stupid yeah and the way that you view
the world is so ineffective meaning it
doesn't move you towards your goals or
your goals are idiotic yeah and and I
mean that if your goals lead you to
suffer and you don't want to be
suffering yeah I would say it's very
plain that your goals are idiotic so
anybody that that wants to write in the
the feed that you know oh you can't
judge somebody's goals yes I can very
much so uh because you either have goals
and you're moving towards them or you
don't and you're not
and so I'm looking at it and I'm like
wow this is a mindset problem this isn't
a an intelligence problem you have the
ability to process raw data which is how
I'll I'll say intelligence is and they
have that but the software that they use
to process that raw data leads to such a
bizarre frame of reference for how the
world works or what they're capable of
that their behaviors become ineffective

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01:26:00.000 --> 01:27:00.000
yeah so I was like okay so the thing I'm
going to try to do is help people change
their frame of reference now I used two
really potent frames of reference for me
one is very similar so I'll use a um a
deathbed frame of reference to say okay
how will I think about this now I don't
get trapped though because I don't live
for my deathbed I think that's a mistake
and I think a lot of people optimize for
something they're going to go through
maybe it lasts a week maybe it lasts a
year but it isn't the bulk of your life
yeah and so to over optimize for that I
think is a mistake but to get the
perspective of like oh my God I remember
when I used to stress about that like
come on this doesn't mean anything when
you're facing your mortality so that's
super useful
um and then the other frame of reference
that I use is the brain in a vat okay
and so I'm like imagine that you're just
a brain in the vat and that this thing
you're really stressing because normally
you're going to be worried about
something that that happened or you're
obsessing about something that happened
and what makes you think about or it
could be the future but either case you

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01:27:00.000 --> 01:28:00.000
can't change either of them
because one's not real and one's in the
past
and I was like what if they're saying
that I'm really worried about that's
already happened that I can't change is
really just context for this brain in
this you know vat living in a simulation
to just to get you moving and that all
these memories that are trapping you
they are fake yeah and there's something
about that that lets me off the hook I
don't need to beat myself up over it
it's just a frame of reference it's
context to get me moving yeah and then I
remind myself I actually am just a brain
in a vat it just happens that the the
vat is the chemicals that you know my
brain is sitting in and the glass of
that jar is my skull and so all of this
really is a simulation even if it's it's
an accurate simulation it's a simulation
nonetheless yeah and I won't derail the
whole conversation on that but like it's
it's very easy to recognize that the
world really is a simulation because
reality is the number of photons falling
on an object but you perceive it as

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01:28:00.000 --> 01:29:00.000
color or whatever not math and so
putting myself in either of those like
hey this isn't really going to matter at
some point and oh that thing that's
creating your sense of identity it could
be made up anyway I don't think it is
but like it's very helpful to remind
myself that those are malleable things
that's been
I mean when we started the conversation
it was like why do you think people
aren't successful why do you think
people fail and it's I think it comes
down to those things it's like it's the
it's the fear of photons that fall on an
object that prevent people from starting
or when they do get hit one time
extrapolate that out till their deathbed
and say I will fail forever and
therefore I will not continue and so I
think that those like those frames are
the things like if there's things that I
would take with me until I die it will
be the frames because like you can lose
it all and then you like if you lost
everything tomorrow you'd be back in 12

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01:29:00.000 --> 01:30:00.000
months you know what I mean
um and it's like that's I remember when
I lost everything the
second time
um and I you know I just lost all the
gyms and all the money and everything
and I it was just like thinking that
that was the thing that I had lost
rather than the thing that I had gained
that was non-material being the more
valuable of the two
um that was like one of my big lessons
and I feel like you obviously have far
more of those than I do but that that
one stuck with me it's interesting I
have a a slightly different belief based
on all that or at least way that I look
at it which is if I lost everything
tomorrow I might not ever gain it back
it's entirely possible now I think I
have a set of skills I'm never going to
worry about money and all that but
I really life has taught me that I
cannot guarantee myself the success
because I failed multiple times at
businesses so it isn't like oh it's
guaranteed because I've had a success
before it's guaranteed I'll never go
hungry barring head trauma but it is you
know it's it's an unknown and that's why

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01:30:00.000 --> 01:31:00.000
I'm very careful not to let that be my
Identity or like I don't know if you've
ever read Stephen King's book The Stand
however that one oh my God so there's
this thing I'm so glad I read this when
I was a kid because so one of the main
characters is a guy who's just finally
gotten famous as a singer and this is
back I've read this probably late 80s so
getting famous was like the most insane
thing you could do getting rich was Far
easier than getting famous and so he
finally got famous his songs everywhere
on the radio and then the end of the
world happens and nobody cares
and I remember thinking whoa like you
could achieve that thing The Impossible
thing and then the next day it's just
gone yeah and so especially at the
moment we're living in now where there's
a lot of uncertainty I'm just like don't
tie your sense of Worth or uh the
thoughts you think are um useful because
they have resulted in wealth the
thoughts that I think are useful because

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01:31:00.000 --> 01:32:00.000
they've resulted in fulfillment that's
the thing like I really want people to
Anchor around
um but yes I certainly take that
transparently I'm probably not there
like I don't think I've like I'm not out
of the guy I don't think I'm as
optimized on that as like you are I
think you have more of that than I do in
terms of like optimizing around
fulfillment I think I definitely still
have a degree of my self-worth wrapped
in
the things we do and the companies we
own and stuff like that like I If all of
those
because the thing is like if in the
magic situation where that all vanished
it would there would be something that I
had probably done wrong now there are
occasions you know where you own a gym
business in covet
um where you're like man there's some
stuff that would it be reasonable for me
to have predicted this probably not okay
I'm not gonna beat myself up with this
one but like if barring a true Act of
God's situation and there were just good
old-fashioned I'm the only one who loses
everything and everyone else doesn't
right
um I probably would be upset

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01:32:00.000 --> 01:33:00.000
um I'd be upset I'm not a [ __ ] monk I
just I remind myself to yeah yes totally
you're like how do you judge yourself
when you're naked in the mirror at night
of like well uh on that day I would feel
badly you know I could just not feel
good 100 but anyways um
dude so I've got the final quote that I
want to share with people that is my
favorite quote from you but first I want
you to tell people where can they follow
you
um if you listen to podcasts you can
just
search my name Alex ramosie and you'll
find the game uh if you are on YouTube
you can search my name and you'll find
my YouTube channel if you're on Tick
Tock Instagram
there all those places Twitter actually
I'm super active on Twitter
um you can find me there just by
searching my name amazing all right now
I want to give people a quote I'd love
this so much
do not cast power to your excuses own
your circumstances because no one else
will

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01:33:00.000 --> 01:34:00.000
so
I think the difference between like rich
people and poor people successfully
people not successful people is the
degree to which they attribute
or give power to their circumstance
right and so the difference between a
self-made
billionaire who started with nothing and
someone who else started with nothing is
not the resources obviously because they
both started at zero so what else is it
is there resourcefulness not the
resources and so
um if we give power to circumstance then
we cast power outside of ourselves if we
give power to other people we cast power
outside of ourselves and so it's you
know it's controlling the controllable
uh and when I you know when I say that
quote a lot of that is is how that quote
is how I see selling
it's people cast power to their
circumstances and my job is to get them
to unfuck themselves around the power
that they have just cast to something
they cannot control and so if I can just
get them to own
even just own the fact that they suck
that's good enough because they actually

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01:34:00.000 --> 01:35:00.000
can own it and there is pride in that
you can take pride in the fact that you
admit that there's a deficit right but
there is the only thing you can't take
pride in is casting and being a victim
right like no one moves forward even if
you're right it doesn't serve you right
if you're born with one you know one
less leg than you should you're right
you're not going to be you have a
disadvantage at being a sprinter like
you have a disadvantage
but it doesn't serve you in any way to
admit it
and so it's it's owning the fact that
like you are the only person who can
actually change anything about your life
because you may blame your circumstances
but no one else will care
I love that
speaking of ways you can change your
circumstances if you haven't already be
sure to subscribe and until next time my
friends be legendary take care peace
my default place is to do this I think
you have to know yourself I think if
your default is to not do those things
then yeah giving yourself a break and
being Kinder and gentler is the absolute
worst thing that you could do to
yourself in my case man it's been a
lifetime I was never a child I was never

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01:35:00.000 --> 01:36:00.000
a little boy that five-year-old I was
literally not a child

