https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KRpQvWNpm4

that everyone wishes for the american

dream and roots for you

for the american dream until it comes

through

\[Music\]

what's going on everyone happy uh

saturday

today um i uh wanted to make this

podcast

for you because i got off the phone

with uh ed turner and he and i had a

long conversation about a

wide breadth of topics and he's like

dude you should talk more about this

kind of stuff

and so what i want to do is actually

share with you

um kind of my experience of having the

chip on my shoulder

and kind of where it got me and what i

learned in the process and so

if you have any kind of like

thoughts around uh like trying to beat

someone and like

like you're gonna take these guys down

and like all this stuff and i know many

many people in this space uh you know

feel that way towards me

i can tell you having literally gone

through the entire process

um it's it's really interesting so like

when i when i had my gyms

i i wrote this huge essay and it was for

myself because i actually have a

creative writing background that

most people don't know about um but i

entitled it

uh that everyone wishes for the american

dream

and roots for you for the american dream

until it comes true and i felt that way

with my clients you know they were

rooting for me when i was

sleeping on the floor they're like good

for you like pursuing your dreams and

um but as time went on

you know and i started to be able to

hire people we started making more money

um and eventually i didn't have to work

in the business

they're like oh you're too good for us

now like oh a big businessman right

and everyone roots for you um until you

do better than them

and so what ends up happening is that

you have to set higher and higher goals

for yourself

to drive yourself right and for me i

uh definitely was an angrier person or

maybe i'm just better at hiding it now i

have no idea

um but i was definitely angrier about

stuff and

i set this goal that i was going to beat

pedro's

if you guys recall who badros kulian and

he's a big guru or was big guru in the

in the gym space uh he owns fit body and

and i i started telling myself all of

these things you know what i mean like

how

he's wronging people and he's ripping

people off and i would tell myself these

stories

you know what i mean to try and like get

myself amped up about like how i'm just

gonna like

write the industry and and do everything

and i'm gonna be bigger than him and

like all this stuff right

and the reality is um

you know as as time went on and and you

know jim lunch grew and

we grew and grew and grew and um you

know i'm not i don't know what his

numbers are but i'm fairly certain that

our coaching program

is and has been bigger than his in this

space at least

for a while and when i got there

um you know i guess to the higher you

know to to match that and surpass

um first off i found that it was

incredibly empty

but secondly i felt

and realized that he was completely

unaffected

he had he was still incredibly wealthy

he had other entrepreneurial endeavors

he was pursuing

um and this my success in no way

affected his life

and it was one of the most

humbling and also freeing moments of my

life when i realized that

because it he wasn't an enemy

i and i doubt i was even you know like a

blip on the radar

um during that time and i mean obviously

they know who we are now but

um it it didn't affect his life

and all this malicious you know list

this vengeance this vendetta

that i had like the only person it

poisoned was me

and you know there's two sides to this

coin on on one

side you have like the the drive

um you know if you guys have seen the

jordan documentary talks about how you

used to make things up that other people

would say about them that they never

actually said

and i feel like it's kind of like that

and it's and that chip on your shoulder

does drive you so i can't say it didn't

drive me

but i don't think it made me a happier

person

and so and believe me i'm not the guy

who's like go go hug trees and be happy

like

i'm all about achieving uh achieving

stuff so like by all means go do

whatever works for you

um but i can tell you that

it seeing it truly seeing my success

not in any way impact someone else's

success

really radically transformed my

feelings about competitors about the

space about the industry

about other coaches in general about

what i was willing to do to help other

coaches etc

it really transformed me um i

started calling up other people who were

in our space and just saying like hey

how can i help you grow

and they're like seriously and i was

like yeah man i'm like i mean you're not

gonna take my stuff

and i'm not gonna take your stuff

because people are attracted to

different people for different reasons

you know people like everyone has

different psychographics that they

attract like i'm 81

male like women in general don't find my

my content appealing

i'm just saying like those are the

that's the data right those are the

stats

um but the thing is is that uh

by freeing myself of this i realize it

didn't impact my success at all

and other people growing with my you

know with me helping or without me

helping

didn't affect my success either but it

did massively affect my mental

well-being

um and so i guess there's two sides to

this message that you can take

one is if you were the you know the line

climbing up the mountain

um by all means stay hungry

as hell do whatever it takes for you to

stay motivated um

but i would say don't don't do anything

stupid

you know don't don't don't say anything

don't don't take massive you know

malicious attacks i didn't do that but

i'm just saying like

don't do that because you will end up

burning bridges

i've had a lot of people do that to me

and i'm sure bedros has had it too

and you know some of the guys have been

in the space for a long time have had

people do that

and what ends up happening is that you

just kind of burn your reputation

and you know what's going to happen is

somebody who's taking a massive

you know swipe at me um you know

they're going to want to do a deal with

someone else and that guy's going to

call me

and he's like what do you think about

this guy i'm like ah i think he's a

little bit i think he's naive i think

he's

i think he's noob i think he's small

bones i think he's an emotional person i

don't think he's able to restrain

himself i think he's very volatile i

wouldn't do business with him

if it were me um you can do whatever you

want and i would just be like this is my

experience with it

i would i don't touch people like that

with a 10 foot pole but do what you want

and usually when people hear that you

know from someone that they think is

less volatile they will usually heed

that advice and there's been probably a

lot of people who have taken attacks at

me who

somehow find things that just fall

through for them and that may or may not

have been as a result of

you know me but the point is that i

think that that anger

use it to fuel yourself but don't don't

use it to attack

it just doesn't end up going well and

also

people make associations with how they

feel about what you

say and so if you're always talking

negatively in general about other people

people will not remember who you were

talking about but they will remember how

you made them feel and they will

associate the negativity with you

and so that's something that um i

learned early on in like some of the

persuasion books and i was like oh okay

i need to watch out for that

and so it's hard for me especially

because i was like so angry when i was

younger

um that to not do that right and so

um that's that's one side of it right is

if you were if you were climbing the

mountain

um and i guess the message to the other

side is that like

it's just you're not gonna affect

anything like you're not gonna hurt

anyone by your success and that's like

that's probably the biggest message i

can give is like

you're not gonna hurt anyone like it's

not like you're not gonna hurt anyone

like when people make swipes at me it's

like it doesn't hurt me like it doesn't

affect me at all

um like it doesn't affect my business it

doesn't it just it just

affects you um and i'm only sharing this

because like it was something that i

think really hurt my mental well-being

when i was younger and i

and if i can provide value you know i

hope that

it doesn't affect those people if they

see this

um so anyways and maybe that's you you

know maybe it's maybe there's a

competitor in your space or maybe

there's

another you know another business down

the street that you're like screw this

guy blah blah blah

i can promise you you would make so much

more money if you guys just like talked

and

and shared like best practices because

it there's so

few markets where it's actually winner

take all

there's it's there's so few you know

what i mean that it actually works that

way it's a zero-sum game

the reality is that most businesses

can't even handle the amount of demand

that there is for the service and the

solution that they have

or the problem that they solve and the

other reality is that there's a lot of

people that like

things solved in different ways you know

if layla and i were entering the weight

loss space it's not like i have to start

attacking weight watchers you know what

i mean like there's just certain people

who are attracted to that type of

messaging

and if layla and i got into that space

we'd probably have a very different

angle brand message look and feel than

they would and we would attract

different types of people with different

values

and so it's there's a lot of room and

the ocean's very very big it's so much

bigger than everyone gives it credit for

um and that's i think i told a a story

recently about

a competitor quote competitor another

per another company in our space who's

who's doing this like the same amount as

i as we are

and they're not even they're not even

like marketing on facebook and i'm like

are you kidding me and they have an

entire outbound team and when i heard

that i was just like gosh

i just like i continue to have my mental

barriers stretched

around these concepts of like the game

is so big

and the only person you hurt when you

spit hate is yourself

um you you hurt your long-term prospects

because people at the top do talk

like it's it like there definitely is

like i think i heard andy fercello say

this it's like

everyone stops just like hanging out

like they're all just like most of us

know each other you know what i mean and

like

we text each other and hey how's this

working for you hey how's this where

like

there's no animosity like i'm friends

with a lot of people who are in the gym

space

who serve jim owners like i have no

malicious intention if someone's like

hey should i work with someone like give

them a shot you know what i mean like

everyone has a different way of doing

things um you know this is what ours

works well with and

if you like our style and you like you

know you like selling hard you like

going high ticket you like marketing

hard

uh you like focusing on metrics like

that's us you know what i mean like

there's

people who like more done for you like

that's cool too like there's guys who do

that really well

so anyways i uh i wanted to share this

with you because uh

ed inspired me uh to share this message

with you because

um if you you know if you are angry or

you've

you have this uh anger inside of

yourself i 100 get you i feel you

um but i would just say try and use it

to

spur yourself on do not use it to throw

shade

because it will not benefit your

well-being and it won't benefit your

long-term

success so anyways um i hope you found

that valuable

hope you enjoyed this um if you did

leave a like or comment or review or

just uh listen solemnly uh but anyways

hope you have an awesome day and a happy

saturday and i'll catch you guys soon

bye

\[Music\]

\[Music\]

\[Applause\]

you
