https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wN8n3qrqnQ

1 00:00:00.000 --\> 00:01:00.000 people who had mentors and coaches
experienced four times greater success than the exact same person doing
it on their own \[Music\] talk about coaching uh it is something that is
highly debated uh oddly um and you see you know internet gurus you see
coaches all over the place right and the the reason i wanted to talk
about this is i think it's a super important uh topic for a variety of
reasons one is why you know why is it important but secondly why do
coaches get so much hate right and so i wanted to uh tell you what the
data says what the science says and so i was having a conversation with
dr cashie who some of you guys know is a very close friend of mine um
and he was saying that he had just seen a paper that was a mega
meta-analysis of the impact of

2 00:01:00.000 --\> 00:02:00.000 coaching and mentorship on success
right on how people are doing right and they found over 40 000 uh
research studies and when they consolidated all of the information and
they controlled for income and you know iq and all of the different
things that could that could uh make one person do better than another
people who had mentors and coaches experienced four times greater
success than the exact same person doing it on their own all right and
to me that seems like the most no-brainer reason i mean why would you i
mean who wouldn't want to have four times greater success or four times
faster results um by having that right and the thing is is despite
knowing that despite knowing that every professional athlete and every
olympian and every every major team has coaches for some reason the
general population or people at large still have so much hate for them
right

3 00:02:00.000 --\> 00:03:00.000 and you can if you've ever had any kind
of coach you can probably think back and think like yes i was coaching
with this person and then many many times people have a negative
impression of that person who they worked with all right and so i like
to dive into these types of things because i see like huge generalities
you know sweeping across the board um and i'm by no means immune to this
i have tons of people that i've helped you know go from broke to million
dollar plus gym that now avidly speak against me um and i just like to
think like what caused this right and so i was reading um i think it's
50 scientific ways which is a phenomenal book by the way 50 scientific
ways to uh persuade people or to get the yes camera word something like
that it's one of robert kealdini who is the author of influence and
persuasion for both two of the best books on influence and marketing and
sales that exist um so he's co-author of this book and one of the
chapters highlighted uh something that i thought was like a huge
eye-opener for me and it was that when doing a favor for

4 00:03:00.000 --\> 00:04:00.000 someone all right and i'll show you how
this relates to coaching when doing a favor for someone the perception
of the favor and how important how big it was actually correlates with
time and so immediately after you do a favor for someone the person who
received the favor thinks super highly of you because they were just in
pain and they're immediately relieved from the pain they were in and
then at that moment is when they believe what you did for them to be of
the of the highest importance of them of the highest impact on their
life then over time it just continues to decline right over time over
time it continues to go down of what their perception of what your favor
was and what it did for your their lives now where this gets interesting
is that the perception of the favored doer of you right if you did the
favor you believe that the amount of effort and the amount of impact it
had on the person's life

5 00:04:00.000 --\> 00:05:00.000 goes up over time and so immediately
after you you do something for someone is the moment you feel like it
was it was nothing it wasn't a big deal i just you know i just did this
and this but the person who received it was like oh my god this like i
was stuck on this for two years and it was horrible and as soon as you
came in everything changed right but if you revisit that same story six
months later the person who got the favor is like i mean i would have
figured it out anyways you know i'm a pretty i'm a pretty smart guy i
really wanted to do it if it wasn't that guy was someone else i was
gonna figure it out right it wasn't that big of a deal and then the
person who did the favor is like oh my god i saved this guy's life and
he doesn't even blah blah blah right whatever but the point is is that
this is a psychological bias and it's it's just real it's just in people
and so in recognizing that it can give you a little bit for me of solace
because i'm just like okay you know what's what's going on here um but
it's just it's a it's a scientifically proven psychological bias that
exists in all humans and so i think that there's a

6 00:05:00.000 --\> 00:06:00.000 couple of of takeaways that i've taken
from this and that you can too um is that one if you if you if you're
doing any kind of coaching right it could be fitness coaching it could
be you know it could be you're being a doc and i'm using coaching in a
broad term it could be mentorship it could be you know what i mean it
doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be business related it could be
anything right is that if you so this is purely just me giving you the
tactics by this if you do someone a favor the time to ask for a favor
and return is immediately immediately after you've done the favor
because at that point is where they will believe what you did for them
was of the most importance right now you can also get into probably
secondary effects of this which is well if you can continue to do favors
over time right then you continue to have those those windows of of
goodwill right and i think of it like a telephone telephone wire so if
you guys under old school i don't even know if of course this thing is
something telephone or power lines where

7 00:06:00.000 --\> 00:07:00.000 you know there's a pole and then it
dips down and then there's another pole and then it dip down and then
it's another pole and just think of each of those poles as the goodwill
or the or the things that you do to help uh people out but if you don't
do that then it just continues to go down and it touches the ground and
then it you know the wire blows up because of whatever right and so um i
just find this really interesting because favors i think also act a lot
like information right and if you sell information like i do right i
sell a business model i sell sales trainings i sell you know how to how
to generate customers all that kind of stuff right is that information
although incredibly valuable upon consumption immediately decreases in
value in perceived value to the person who consumed it and so
information is one of those interesting things that is incredibly value
but declines in value very rapidly all right and so this is why if you
are teaching people things you need to consistently teach new things on
a regular basis so that

8 00:07:00.000 --\> 00:08:00.000 they can continue to have those
telephone poles of over and over again you breaking a belief or teaching
a new thing or whatever it is so that they can continue to grow and i do
think that over time there's some level of goodwill that gets built um
but still most people are functioning on the what have you done for me
lately right and i just you can you can be resentful of that and you can
be the favor doer who's like i changed this guy's life um or you can
just deal with the reality is that people don't care right they'll just
think about what you did for them lately and so i just see this as
incredible like as as statements of truth and so then you can just act
in accordance with that it's like so if you if you want you know you
help someone lose 25 pounds working with you then get the testimonial at
that time right at that moment right don't wait and then ask for it six
months later because at this point they're gonna be like well i was
gonna join another gym you know i was gonna probably do something either
way and it was really me who's doing all the dieting i mean yeah you
know he helped right whereas if you've done it right after they get off
the scale and you tell them to come right in and

9 00:08:00.000 --\> 00:09:00.000 you do a great video they'll have all
the emotions they'll just have gotten out of pain they'll have achieved
their their thing and the thing is they'll probably far more accurately
depict how much of a change you really did in their lives right and so i
think this has far-reaching uh implications for a the psychology of the
coach but also be the psychology of the coach e right and i think that
i've experienced this myself with different coaches that i've had
throughout my life recognizing myself internally is like you know i look
back on what they did and i think those same thoughts which is like i
would have done it anyway i'm a winner winners win um and i was gonna
happen now whether or not that's true doesn't really matter the point is
is that they were still the one who helped me out right and so you know
giving respect to those people i think has been something that uh in the
beginning of my career i don't think i did um as much as i do now and i
think it's partially just you know maybe it's age maybe it's experience
maybe it's scar tissue you know um whatever it is but i have i think i
have

10 00:09:00.000 --\> 00:10:00.000 probably in the last year or two um
been much better about giving massive amounts of respect to the people
who helped me out uh earlier on in my life and um and let me give you a
different framing as well if you're the person who got received the
favor so i kind of talked about this from the coaching perspective but
talk about it from the from the student perspective is that like in my
book which was released two years ago or a year and a half ago whatever
it is um i have acknowledgements in the back and i have all people who
influence me on that page good and bad because i still learn tremendous
amounts from some of the people who are what i would consider maybe
negative mentors right i learned i learned what not to do a lot of times
and still some of those people still broke beliefs of mine even if they
weren't intending to right and so i think tony robbins talks about this
where he says you know blame them you can't just blame your mom or your
dad right for the insecurities they gave you also blame them for your
resilience

11 00:10:00.000 --\> 00:11:00.000 blame them for your ability to
persevere blame them for all the positive characteristics that you
developed as a result or in reaction to some of the negative things that
they did right and so i think that if you can adopt that perspective
it's one way mentally healthier for you two you won't burn bridges with
people who probably did help you at some point and then three if you are
the coach if you recognize that this is going to be a cognitive bias
this is going to be a psychological bias that's the need in all humans
then you can adjust the way that you fulfill your business or you
fulfill your coaching which is one if you want to get someone to
recognize what you did for them you want to have that done immediately
or as soon after they achieve their result right and then secondarily
you want to continue to put post up those telephone poles week after
week month after month so that you don't have to have that information
decline over time and the only way to do that is work right because it
requires effort like we have to continue to innovate we have to continue
to make things easier we have to continue

12 00:11:00.000 --\> 00:12:00.000 to strive to solve the next problem
because the good news for everyone is that every single student you ever
have as soon as you solve a problem a new problem will be created from
the gap that you just that you just bridged right they will just go
across the bridge to the next plateau where there's another gap where
they need another bridge belt and so as long as you've been farther far
ahead enough of the the people that you are teaching coaching mentoring
student team right um you will be able to continue to build bridge after
bridge after bridge for those people and it will force you to grow as a
as a coach as an entrepreneur as a business owner as as whatever right
uh because you will force to level yourself up so that you can continue
to provide value because the value that you provided has an expiration
date so um i hope you found that valuable hopefully that interesting for
me i think it was really uh once i kind of connected all those pieces
together uh it made a lot of sense in my own life uh for me as a student
but also for what i've you know experienced uh as a as a quote coach or
mentor or i

13 00:12:00.000 --\> 00:13:00.000 hate the word mentor but you know
whatever um as a you know as a as somebody who develops business models
and helps other people uh make more profitable businesses it's been
something that's been very valuable for me and honestly just very
calming uh to my spirit and so anyways i hope that makes sense to you um
i hope you found that valuable and if you did tag coach uh tag one of
your coaches take some of your trainers tag some of your friends family
dogs pet higher power whatever it is um otherwise have an amazing day
hope you guys have a crushing tuesday and i'll talk to you guys on the
flip side you
