https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX2EJSwOCug

1 00:00:00.000 --\> 00:01:00.000 my wife and i acquired 100 million net
worth by the time we were age 32 and as a result of that we had very
different views and perspectives on money and happiness and i was
recently interviewed in a two hour long podcast with graeme steffen and
he asked questions about it and from what i understand a lot of people
shared and talked about this particular section of the podcast and so we
chose to cut this out and give it to you in the next 11 minutes and if
you don't know who i am my name is alex mosey on acquisition.com it's a
portfolio of companies that portfolio does about 85 million a year and i
have nothing to sell you all right so enjoy the video welcome to mozzie
nation and i'll see on the other side like a lot of people make
statements like they're like isms like this is this way um like i have
this thought and it is and you're like and i've just accepted that like
i'm always gonna have this like i would just never speak that over
yourself just right off the bat because like you're just saying i'm
never going to get over this thing like the statement you said earlier
about like at the end of the day i just like i just want to be happy
like when you admit that you just want to be happy then what happens is
you create a deficit between your current reality and happiness which
means that it doesn't matter what happens because there will always be
happiness that is outside of yourself that make sense

2 00:01:00.000 --\> 00:02:00.000 kind of yeah i mean but i would
consider myself no no he didn't get that at all because i'm like looking
like oh man but i thought okay so here's my here's my interpretation of
it if i'm telling myself that i just want to be happy then i will never
be happy that's what you're saying no i understand what you're saying
right but i'm telling you right now that i am happy now good so but okay
wait graham i what do you still think i don't understand that so like
deficits deficits occur when we speak desires right and so um i love
this statement um a desire is a contract we make with ourselves to be
unhappy until we get what we want and so whenever we state a desire like
i want this i want this amount of money i want whatever you literally
sign a contract that says like i won't be unhappy until that happens
right and so like i had this thing earlier on where i was like i want to
have meaning i want to have great meaning in my life and i was talking
to a guy who made a lot more money than me because i asked him i said
how do you create and destroy meaning in your work that was the question
i asked him on a podcast and he was like

3 00:02:00.000 --\> 00:03:00.000 why do you think life needs to be
meaningful and it was the same exact thing as the happiness versus like
the meaning thing where it's like i say life has to be meaningful and
therefore everything that i'm doing like i create this expectation of
life whereas if life just is it just is and it's the only way that you
can actually be there it's just it's just pure acceptance right which is
why like the whole like shoulds of like we should work we should have
balance we should acts it's like i believe marriage is a compromise like
these are just statements of belief that are casting expectations out in
the world that are just bound to be untrue at some point and then create
dissonance and so it's like i believe marriage is marriage and i believe
my marriage is my marriage and i believe your marriage is your marriage
and like i believe that i can work 24 hours a day if i want to and that
is all period not and it's bad or and it's good there's no judgment on
it it just is and so like if i get you know if i get dopamine secreted
in my brain when i start working cool like and i will optimize for
dopamine and if i die i know that on a thousand generations

4 00:03:00.000 --\> 00:04:00.000 nothing i do anyways is going to matter
so who cares like that's like the the opening thing in my book is like
there are no rules like we live in this like this like shoulds and have
to's and like like happiness everyone talks about it and it's just like
everyone is unhappy because they say they want to be happy rather than
being like accepting like happiness like i just am period and then like
i don't need to judge the am it just is how do you what do you say today
i don't know that makes sense yeah because so one thing i noticed is if
you're like i just want to be happy does that mean alex that you think
that at some point that will change for you or something or you're you
have you live no i think that that will change i think you guys maybe
are taking what i'm saying the wrong way i mean like like alex is saying
you know everybody has different beliefs and there's no one rule fits
all to everybody and so if i say i want to be happy that doesn't make me
wrong like if i want to live my life that way that's perfectly fine

5 00:04:00.000 --\> 00:05:00.000 but the the thing that that what jack
is saying is no i am like happy like i but i for me i like to make like
a conscious effort to work towards that and alex can live his life like
life is life my marriage is my marriage um and it works for him and that
generates happiness whether he's like thinking about it but it doesn't
have to generate happiness that's the problem right yes yes like right
like but like because it makes it like not because it's like when people
say like hey um work uh you know set these goals and like the rest will
take care of itself it still makes the rest taking care of itself the
reason that you're doing it which means that it's actually not getting
around it when people were like you got to be process driven if you're
like if we focus on the process the goals take care of themselves it
still means that the goals are important so like you have to if if you
want to make the transition from like a process driven life which is
like i'm doing these things to do them period then the so that i can be
happy so that i can have a good marriage so that i have a meaningful
life has to disappear from the equation it has to be

6 00:05:00.000 --\> 00:06:00.000 i do them period not because i do them
but then it goes back the other way like but why because you say so like
because you want to right like if you want to have if you want to
ascribe a meaning to why you're doing something you can do it for
whatever reason wow this is deep so i mean this is what i spend a lot of
my time thinking of because i have nothing else to do and this is what
my last year was was like trying to figure out like why why i didn't
have like i i felt the exact same way while i was well i had nothing as
to where i have now i feel the same like like people were like man it
was cool when the money hit my account i felt nothing like truly like
not even like the two-day like i it was irrelevant how did you learn all
of this did was this through speaking with other people who have been
there before you thinking um i mean my closest friend is a philosopher
and i use that in terms of like the actual meaning of the word
philosopher so like feel a to love and then sophos's wisdom or knowledge
so like he's a lover of knowledge lover of wisdom and like we talk every
week it's

7 00:06:00.000 --\> 00:07:00.000 like the only standing meeting that i
have is we talk for like two hours and we just talk about life and he's
one of these guys who like lives in a cave um and it's like he got his
phd when he was 20 like just a very brilliant guy and so he and i just
talk about things you know he should uh share his contact information
he's going to look for some guests on the podcast oh i mean he's
brilliant i mean if you like dr cashew is brilliant he's the he's the
smartest human that i know in terms of like brilliance and their ability
to communicate it um in a simple way um and so he helped me get over a
lot of the things that i that i used to struggle with and a lot of it
was just like the language that we use matters a lot because like how we
say things is how we think things and so like what i was saying earlier
alex and this is not like this is not like a slide i'm just saying like
when i hear like when i hear anyone talk like on my team or or customers
or whatever it's like people talk so many things over themselves and
they're like i don't know why i'm not successful and it's like well
define success and why are you not and then what are the you know i mean
like i just want to do this to be had

8 00:07:00.000 --\> 00:08:00.000 like there's so many chains that they
put on themselves that it becomes very difficult to live and so like i
spent a long time trying to not do that and it was just because like i
was unhappy and i didn't like being unhappy and then i stopped judging
myself for being unhappy and then i stopped thinking about it all
together and so i think that like i'll give you a really real example
for this so one of the things that i'm vehemently opposed and i'm like
you no one give gram flack you can give it to me um and like this is
coming from a family through like had out alcoholics and drug addicts
and things like that like i really don't like the alcoholics anonymous
um concept of every morning waking up and saying i am an alcoholic high
you know whatever and then they go into their in their meetings because
what it does is it puts it at the forefront of their mind and they they
literally label themselves every morning as having this problem when
somebody who's not an alcoholic just doesn't think about it they don't
think i'm an alcoholic i have to fight not drinking every day they just
don't think about it and so i think to the same degree that um like
living a meaningful life is not saying like

9 00:08:00.000 --\> 00:09:00.000 i'm living a meaningful life you just
are and you're not casting it you're just you just are but don't you
think some of that is just that inherent belief that some people just
have they're raised from that they have positive experiences that turns
into a spiral but the people who don't have that who are used to every
day being like i'm worthless i suck at this i am bad at this don't you
think that maybe that like first step and like getting in that direction
is positive affirmations of like i could do it i could isn't that like
that's better than zero like i feel like we're going to zero to one
because i think it's exiting i think it's exiting the equation all
together so saying i am worthless instead of saying like i want to be
worthy or i am worthy just saying worthiness doesn't matter but then
wouldn't you get just people not caring at all yes yeah so i'm 100
percent of nihilus yeah like i believe we die nothing happens and like
you know it is what it is right but and there are different ways to take
that some people are like life is meaningless and there's no point in
any of it which i would agree with them and then the other people are
like there's no point in any

10 00:09:00.000 --\> 00:10:00.000 of it and so i'll do what i want and
some people see that as like very very very self-serving which it might
be but to the same degree like you are released from the chains of the
expectations of others and most people in my opinion that i have
witnessed who are unhappy is because they are weighted down by the
chains of their parents of their friends of their siblings of the
whatever things the people that they believe are casting judgment on
them and they care so much about that person's disapproval that they
don't want to do the things that they want to do and so if i think it's
easier to get someone to realize that none of it matters and then build
from there then to try and flip the negatives it's just to exit the
equation altogether just say none of this matters therefore i will start
my youtube channel and not care if my dad says that youtube isn't real
like it's not about being worth it like this is one where they're like i
deserve success like they don't no one deserves anything but you can do
the stuff that gets success independent of your deservingness you need a
terrible person and get and become successful so that person doesn't
deserve it but they did these things that create success if we define
success as some material whatever

11 00:10:00.000 --\> 00:11:00.000 and so i think like if you can exit
the equation of like labeling yourself and then just doing because
because what else will you do while you are alive it creates some levels
of freedom that allow for clarity of thought and also for the ability to
take risks that most people can't take
